Page 109 of At Her Pleasure
“Not while your hand is around my cock.”
She withdrew it, placing her palm against his back. Laid her cheek over it, already knowing he’d want to make sure her face was protected.
He picked up the oil and tipped it to drizzle more in the still hot skillet. When she heard the sizzle and sharp pops, he stiffened, drawing a breath in between his teeth.
“Where?” she murmured.
“Chest, stomach. Cock.” He let the breath out. “Just a couple drops.”
“Good.” Her hand came back around to reclaim him. She put her mouth on the dual column of red-tinged skin inside his shoulder blade, where she’d put the copper tube.
“God.” He tipped his head back, fingers gripping the oven handle. “Do you ever give yourself pain, for you? Not the testing thing for your subs.”
She paused. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because certain sadists will use themselves if they don’t have someone else to hurt when the urge comes upon them. You strike me as that kind.”
A dicey area, but she wouldn’t deny it. Giving him one last caress, she moved to the coffee maker, putting in her preferred K-cup.
“Sometimes. But I have good access to subs these days, so it’s mostly to help me know what they’re experiencing. Before we have a session, I ask them their one to ten pain threshold, but I also ask them what produced a ten or a one, because it’s different for everyone. Last year, we had a guest member with a nerve disorder. Almost any contact play was a ten for him.”
He'd specifically wanted her, having heard about her reputation. “A feather along his skin felt the way a Wartenberg wheel would feel to someone else.”
As she slid into a seat at the kitchen island, Mick brought the plate to her. He’d added a small bowl of applesauce with a sprinkling of cinnamon to the arrangement. “So what was he looking for?” he asked.
“Someone without empathy. Someone who would push his limits and wouldn’t stop until he safeworded.”
He frowned. “You have empathy. You’re all empathy. You feel and want the pain, too.”
“His words, not mine. I don’t care if they have the wrong impression of me. What matters is if they interest me, and he did. We had a good session. He blacked out. When he woke, it was because he was in the arms of the sweetest little kitten sub we have. She was stroking him with a feather.”
Mick’s lips twisted. “Woman, you are diabolical.”
“No argument there.” She looked down at the food. He’d made himself comfortable in her kitchen, and she didn’t mind. “Have someplace to be today, Mick?”
“I need to check in with Progeny on Monday to finish up, but my Sunday is yours.”
“Good.” She paused. “You were planning to leave soon after that?”
“Yeah. But I can carve out an extra day, if you’ve changed your mind about going camping with me.”
“We’ll see.” She didn’t want to think about what it would mean if she agreed to go. Or how it would feel if she told him good-bye.
“I meant what I said, Cyn.” He braced his hands on the island. “About committing to you, even if I’m not here.”
She drew back. “Don’t say that. You can’t promise something like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you said it yourself. We might not see one another again for months, or years.” Or never again. The unspoken words raked her insides, so she shoved some additional hard truth at him. “There’d be no point in you making such a promise to me. I’m not set up to trust that kind of oath.”
“Exactly,” he said. “You’ve never had anyone dedicate themselves wholly to you, wanting to be bound to you in every conceivable way. I’ve wanted that since we met. Ten years proves that has nothing to do with how many miles are between us.”
She shoved away the inexplicable panic his words caused. “Why is this so important, Mick? Why?”
His eyes fixed on her in that way a man’s did when what he was saying was pulled from a core as solid and unshakable as anything could be.
“My dad cheated. All he had to do was walk out the door, and his dick was on the prowl. I was the kid who got to sit on the sidelines and watch, like every other kid who's had to go through that. People hear about your parent’s infidelity and say this incredibly stupid thing: ‘It has nothing to do with you.’”