Page 182 of Vampire's Choice
“We had to go ahead and bury them,” she said. “But we’re planning a service at the grave.”
Kohana and Chumani were in the small family and staff graveyard, formed on the east side of the giant tree whose canopy shaded the picnic tables. It was the gathering spot the staff had always enjoyed, on fair weather days and nights. Kohana and Chumani had spent many good hours there, and the staff still liked including them in their conversations. Mal had said Kohana would want to be where he could keep an eye on things, and Chumani would want to be where she could keep an eye on her beloved giant Sioux.
However, for Mal and Elisa, there had been only one place that fit. The overlook, where Mal could see all the fault lines, and how the cats were doing. See his staff and Ruth move about their tasks, caring for the island he’d loved. Elisa’s only desire would be to be close to him.
As Ruth showed that to Adan in his mind, she wiped another river of tears from his cheek. “Did you know this field is where Etsi told Da she was carrying us? That she was pregnant?”
“I didn’t. She never told me that.”
“Women tell one another such things.” She paused as a puzzling mix of emotions, shock and uncertainty, flashed over his face. “What? Why is that so startling?”
“It’s not…it’s just…” Adan released her and drew up his knees so he could prop his elbows on them and scrub his face with his hands. “I’m going to lose it again, Ruth. I’m not sure if I can get this out and hold it together.”
She put her arm over his back, her other hand curled around his biceps. Instantly, she shoved her own pain aside as she prepared to fight for her brother, in whatever direction the threat would come. “You don’t have to. What is it? Tell me.”
“Oh. Hell, no it’s nothing bad. Sorry. Just the opposite.” He pressed his lips to her hair, cupping her head before he drew back and met her gaze. “Catriona is expecting.” His face crumpled. “I was going to tell them…when I got back. She told me just before I left.”
“Adan. Oh, Adan.” Another flood of tears for them both. She was beginning to think they would never end, that the pain would never ease.
“If I’d come before, I might have been here… They would have had a Light Guardian to defend them…”
“Don’t do that to yourself. You can what if yourself all day long. Da and Mum wouldn’t want you to do that. Oh, Adan. They would have been so happy with your news.”
Her attention went to the house. Catriona stood on the rail, gazing up at the night, her wings fluttering like shimmers of golden and green mist. Merc braced his hands on the rail next to her, listening to whatever she was telling him with courteous attention, even though he was fully present in Ruth’s mind.
Adan must have let Catriona hear that he’d shared their news with his sister, because Catriona looked in their direction and raised her hand, a tender acknowledgement.
Ruth touched Adan’s face again. “He’s right here. She’s right here. They haven’t left us. They’ll never leave us.” She told herself that every day. A bittersweet comfort that fell far short of what she wanted, but would help, over time. She had to believe that. “They know, Adan. I know they’re celebrating for you, overjoyed.”
“I can’t let go of the selfish bastard, little kid desire to have seen their reaction when we brought them the news. Etsi would have danced a jig. Made cookies the size of dinner plates. Da would have insisted that Catriona stay here on the island whenever I was traveling, so they could watch over her. No matter how safe she’d be with Keldwyn in the Fae world, you know he never trusted it much.”
“No.” They laid back among the flowers and stared up at the sky, their hands clasped. “I don’t want to go inside,” he said at last, in an aching voice.
“I know. It’s truly terrible, the first time.”
She didn’t mean while it was wrecked and bloodstained, which had been a separate kind of horror, one that would take her years to pack into a closet in her mind and throw away the key.
No. She meant when it was normal, restored, mostly back to the way it was supposed to look, yet it didn’t look right at all. “And the second, and third. It’s too quiet. But it will be better, with you and Catriona here. How long you can stay?”
Adan turned his head to look at her. “Derek said unless he gets desperate enough to need my pitiful efforts, I can take whatever time I need.”
“He’s a very encouraging boss.”
“Yeah. Being too full of myself is never a problem with him. Like Da...” He swallowed. “I can’t say ‘was.’ I don’t want to.”
“Then don’t. I won’t either. As I said, they’re still here. I may be too full of pain and anger to really feel it yet, but I have no doubt of it.”
Their hands constricted, a flesh and bone knot, reflecting the desire not to let go of the line that connected them to the thought.
“‘Even if our decisions bring us to the end of one life, it’s only the beginning of another. And those lives are circles that will link, giving your soul everything it needs. When you most doubt it, it will remind you. Because while a lot of things are hard and cruel, that truth never is.’”
His voice got thick again as he spoke the words. He turned his head to meet her eyes. “Etsi said that to me, that first time Derek and Ruby brought Jem to the island. You remember that day?”
“I do.” They looked back up at the stars for a while longer. Then Adan sat up and gazed down at her with their mother’s eyes. Ruth laced her hands over her stomach, knowing he was seeing Mal’s gazing back at him from her own face. More reminders. The right kind.
“So Merc is here,” he said at last.
“Yes.”