Page 91 of Vampire's Choice
“Are we sure Caleb’s fully human?” she asked Clara.
“Yes. Just an incredibly strong one. Maybe he has giant blood. You know, one of the ancient, long-gone races.”
Clara’s perky optimism tonight was the real thing, not a costume she’d had to reach for. The recent lack of visions was giving her back some strength. She was painting Charlie’s toenails as the blind woman worked on Ruth’s hair. “I’m so glad you’re going with us, Ruth,” she added.
“I’m a vampire. Our internal GPS identifies any kink event within twenty-five miles of our current location, and we show up, invited or not. So will Marcellus and Maddock be there?” Ruth half closed her eyes as Charlie worked on her hair. She loved having it brushed and stroked. Would Merc ever do such a thing?
“Not Marcellus. Not his scene. I like to go watch, and he’s okay with that. Long as I look and don’t touch. He comes to me afterwards, though.” Clara chuckled, delicately applying the soft pink polish. “So I don’t have to worry about finding an outlet for all that sexual energy.”
“Or he doesn’t have to worry about you finding one,” Charlie put in with a smile.
“Maddock?” Ruth asked.
“Sometimes, when he’s in the area, but not this time. His work has him traveling a great deal.” Longing and loneliness crossed Charlie’s face, and Clara paused to grip her shin, a reassuring caress.
“I don’t want anyone but him,” Charlie said. “But it can be difficult, to want someone so much and only get to see them a few days at a time, with too long absences in between.”
“Would Yvette let you travel with him?” Ruth asked.
Clara looked up with an expression that made her regret asking the question, but Charlie answered in a normal tone.
“It’s difficult, with my gifts. They have to be managed in an environment like this, to keep them from overwhelming me. Maddock could probably work out some kind of buffering if we were together elsewhere, but I wouldn’t want his energy to be divided, because he often works in dangerous situations.”
She sighed. “So maybe it will always be this way. But I know our love will only grow stronger. That’s the balance. The gift with the sacrifice. He’s good about visiting me in my dreams. I feel his touch there often. And his words. Sometimes I think he holds me in my sleep, from wherever he is. I wake with the sense of his arms around me. He's a complicated man, but his love for me is simple and deep. When I can start my day with that feeling around me, I know it’s as it should be. All will be well, no matter what we face.”
Clara had paused, listening the way Ruth was. Charlie was lost in the strength of her feelings. Ruth was so used to proving herself capable of handling things, but could she trust Merc with her feelings like that? If she simply reached out, tried to find him because she needed his company, would he respond? Merely because she wanted to spend time with him?
She didn’t expect she’d ever stop fighting and challenging. But there was room for caring and romance, right? Was he capable of it?
Charlie gestured around her. “My life is amazing. At one time, I thought it was hell on earth, thinking I’d never make sense out of it, make sense out of who and what I am. But I ended up here, with Yvette and a family, and then Maddock…”
Clara dipped a knowing look toward Ruth. “Back to Schweitzer again. Life’s true joy is only found through suffering. We have to live and learn a lot of hard things to understand that.” Changing the tone, she shot Ruth a mischievous glance. “Will you play tonight?”
“Probably not. I’m more of a watcher.” The Circus might be a “safe” place, where the troupe would never reveal one another’s secrets, but it was too ingrained in her, to hide that part of herself. There was only one reason she might consider doing otherwise. “Does Merc…attend?”
“Never. Which to be honest, has been a relief. It would be hard to relax, knowing he was strolling around a place saturated with sexual energy.” Clara made a conciliatory gesture. “No offense. I know Marcellus says he’s doing better, but that vibe he puts out…it’s not that I doubt Marcellus, but it’s like Merc wants us to stay scared. It's mixed messages, and I err on the side of caution.”
“He does attend,” Charlie corrected. “He watches from where no one can see him. I’ve felt him.”
“You’ve never told me that,” Clara said.
“He never ventures into the rings, and after a time, he leaves. I was respecting his privacy, while helping you and other women who are uncomfortable with him feel safe in that space.”
Ruth imagined feeling Merc’s hidden presence as she wandered through the play sessions, watching and reacting, at least internally, to what she was seeing. Her response to that was much different than what Clara was expressing.
She touched the flowers and ribbons in her hair. Even if she defaulted to “play it safe” mode, she was ready to immerse herself in the scenes, populated by beautiful bodies and the intensity of the power exchanges, the Dominance and submission. Her body was fairly humming.
With Clara’s enthusiastic input and Charlie’s expert opinions, they shifted to a discussion of Ruth’s outfit choice for the night. Charlie had helped her put it together, and it was in Ruth’s quarters, concealed in a garment bag. Based on what Charlie had suggested, Ruth had a feeling the healer knew her hopes for the evening.
“I’ll meet you outside the Big Top in thirty minutes.” Ruth directed that to Clara as she rose, because Charlie had informed them she needed to drop in later. “If that gives you enough time.”
“Oh yeah. I’m ready to go.” Clara wore one of her colorful dresses with intricate embroidery and tiny mirrors worked into the bodice. A wide belt and soft boots enhanced the skirt that swished around her calves. “Without my man there, I’m not trying to get anyone to salivate over me. Unlike one hot and sexy female vampire.”
“I don’t have to try,” Ruth informed her, and departed with catcalls and chuckles following her.
She grabbed a quick shot of blood from the kitchen tent and headed for her quarters. She was passing between two storage tents when hands settled on her shoulders. Merc’s wings closed over her. The feathers had an electrical energy that created tiny bursts of sensation wherever they made contact with her flesh.
She stored up so much anticipation for his touch, experiencing it often felt like the first time. The thought jolted her further.