Page 97 of Only You

I couldn’t take it anymore. “You’re damn right, I’m still angry and hurt. For fuck’s sake, Alex.” I shook my head as I slammed down my fork. “I didn’t move here to have some guy use his charm on me to get me to fall in love with him and then turn around and say, ‘Oops, I should never have done that,’” I shouted. “I was getting over a betrayal and heartbreak as it was. Then you swoop in, and just when I thought to myself that you were the one, you pulled the shit you did. I’m not hungry anymore.” I threw my napkin on the table and stood up. “I have boxes in the car, and I’m going to get them to pack the rest of my things.”

“Stop!” he shouted commandingly when I began to walk away. I flinched. “You’re not going anywhere. Sit back down.”

“Fuck you, Harbor.” I shook my head and began walking to the front of the house.

Before I knew it, he came up from behind, grabbed me, picked me up, and carried me down to the beach.

“Let me go!” I shouted as he gripped me tight.

“No. Not until you listen to everything I have to say!” he shouted.

He set me down in the sand, one arm wrapped tightly around my waist. He held onto me as if his life depended on it. Our eyes locked onto each other.

“Please, Hannah. Just listen. That’s all I ask.”

“Fine.”

He let go of me, and I dropped onto the sand, bringing my knees to my chest. Alex sat down next to me.

“I fucked up. Not only with you, but with Lucy.”

“You’re doing a great job with her, Alex.”

“Maybe now, but I wasn’t there for her. I was so scared when Lucy’s mother told me she was pregnant. I’d decided long ago that I would never have kids.”

“Why?” I glanced at him.

“Because having kids meant you were happy, and that’s the last thing I wanted to be. It was my fault Athena drowned. I was with a girl and cared more about talking and getting with her than watching my sister. I’ve lived with the consequences of that since I was fifteen. I felt like I didn’t deserve happiness, not when Athena couldn’t get her happiness because of me. My mother blamed me. She called me horrible names and told me she wished it was me who drowned and not Athena. Every day for a year, I tried so hard to win my mother’s affection back, but she was too far gone. One night, I was in the kitchen making a sandwich. As I cut it with one of the kitchen knives, my mother walked in, grabbed the knife from my hand, and held it up to me. I’ll never forget what she said to me.”

“What did she say?”

“She said, ‘It’s either you or me because having to look at you every day is slowly killing me after what you’ve done.’”

“Oh my God, Alex.” I softly rubbed his back. “How awful. What did you do?”

“I honestly thought she was going to stab me right then and there. So, I ran out of the house and all the way to the park. I called my aunt in Chicago and told her what happened. She flew in the next morning, confronted my mother, and told her she was taking me back to Chicago with her. My mom told her to go ahead because she never wanted to see me again.”

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea it was that bad.”

“I was so afraid of failing someone else. That’s why when Lucy’s mom told me she was moving to Georgia, I didn’t try and stop her. I wanted my daughter gone and away from me. Not because I didn’t love her, I did. I was protecting her from me. Staying away from her was my way of protecting her. Just like I did with you. When I first saw you standing in front of the shop, looking through the window, I told myself what a beautiful woman you were. Then, after we talked, something inside me stirred. I knew I should have stayed away, but there was this magnetic pull I felt, and I couldn’t. That’s when the idea of renting the guesthouse came to my mind. Then we started getting closer, and I freaked out because I felt happy for the first time in forever. But with the happiness came the guilt.”

“Oh, Alex.” I brought my hand to his cheek.

He placed his hand on mine. “I love you, Hannah. I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you. I’m so sorry for everything I said and did, and I hope you can find it in your broken heart to forgive me. All I want to do is heal your heart and take away the pain. I know you’re not okay. Just like I’m not okay. We’re not okay apart.”

CHAPTER 33

Alex

“No, we’re not okay apart.” A soft smile crossed her lips. “I love you, too, Alex.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Are you sure?”

“All the heartbreak, loneliness, tears, and anger aren’t for nothing. All of that is because I’m in love with you. I wouldn’t still be experiencing all of them if I weren’t.”

I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight, burying my face in her beautiful hair.

“Please let me make everything up to you. Let me show you the man I really am.”