Page 10 of Commit
“You okay?”
I look at Abbot, who watches me with worried eyes. I could laugh at the stupid question, but I don’t. I mean, how can I be okay? How can either of us be? But that’s not what you’re supposed to say in situations like these, right? So I nod, offer him a small smile, and keep my mouth shut.
That’s what I’m supposed to do, right?
Only nobody’s ever told me what I’m supposed to do or feel in these situations. Is there a right and a wrong way to act? She wasn’t my mom, but for a little while, she was the closest thing I ever had to one.
“Come on, let’s get something to eat,” Abbot says quietly.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Maybe not, but you still have to eat. And you haven’t had anything all day.”
I grit my teeth and stand, giving in and taking his hand when he offers it to me. I remind myself that he’s only trying to help. He doesn’t deserve my anger. His mom’s gone, and instead of being a shoulder for him to lean on, he’s been the one supporting me.
“I’m sorry, Abbot,” I whisper, and he pulls me in for a hug and presses his lips to my forehead.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. You loved her as much as she loved you.”
I nod against his chest, unable to say the words out loud. Loving people has become my curse. The second I admit it, they turn away from me. I don’t know what I did in a past life that was so bad, but there must be something toxic in me that taints everything and everyone I touch.
“Come on, while it’s quiet.”
He leads me to the table at the far end of the room and picks up a plate, placing a few sandwiches and a variety of tiny desserts on it. He hands it to me before fixing a plate for himself.
“You want to sit outside for a little while and get some air?”
I nod, and this time, my smile is genuine.
He leads me out the back door, down to the pretty garden attached to the rented room. I take a deep breath, and my nerves begin to settle.
“Better?”
“Much, thanks. It’s just a lot.”
“And it doesn’t help that they’re strangers.” He sighs, knowing I struggle with anxiety in social situations.
“They’re strangers to you too,” I point out.
He offers me a tired smile and nudges my elbow with his to start eating. I find a spot on the grass and sit, crossing my legs in front of me. Abbot drops down beside me and starts eating. I nibble on the food on my plate as I think about all the changes in my life.
Abbot finishes eating before I do, placing his empty plate on the grass beside him, and steals a cookie from my plate.
“So, your dad?” I venture cautiously.
His face gets tight like it always does when his father’s mentioned. Both the Peters brothers have a temper, though Abbot tends to hold everything in until it explodes. The one thing that usually sets him off, though, is me. I can’t even count the times he’s used his fist to shut someone up who was talking shit about me.
It’s one of the reasons I keep to myself. Now, it seems his father sets him off just as fast as I do, only for very different reasons.
“He’s my sperm donor, nothing else. He hasn’t been my dad for the seventeen years I’ve been alive. He sure as fuck doesn’t get to waltz in and be one now.”
I take a bite of my sandwich. No matter what Landon and Abbot say, I’m grateful to the mystery man for agreeing to take me in. I’m honestly surprised that he did. I’m a stranger. Not just that, but a burden. Despite that, he’s giving me a chance. I’ll make sure I’m the best damn house guest he’s ever had.
“Hey, it was nice of him to let us stay. He could have said no.”
“Maybe he should have. Then Landon would have had no choice but to take us in.”
I look away, not wanting him to see my reaction. The last thing I would have wanted to do was move hours away from home and transfer to a different school when I was so close to being done.