Page 105 of Commit
She says nothing, does nothing, and by the time we make it home, I brace myself for the worst. I turn the engine off and sit silently beside her, anxiously waiting for her to say something, anything. I’ll even take screaming and crying at this point.
“You terrify me, Hudson,” she says quietly, her eyes on her lap.
I clench my fists, fighting the urge to reach for her.
“I’ve danced with monsters my whole life. I’ve been dressed up and stripped bare, shown off like some shiny trophy, and hidden away like a dirty little secret.” She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “I’m the one who’s always alone in the middle of a crowd. I’m watched and judged and found not good enough. And yet, I’m exactly what they made me. I made peace with it and learned to accept who I am, flaws and all. But then you came into my life and shook everything up again.”
My fingers twitch, wanting to wipe the tears from her face, but I hold back, knowing she has more to say.
“Everything you do, everything you say breaks me a little bit more, and a part of me is so fucking angry with you, with Abbot, with everything. You don’t just walk all over me, you stomp. You make me feel helpless and weak and like a little girl all over again.”
She reaches over and slides her hand on top of my fist, her eyes lifting to mine. “But nobody has ever looked at me the way you do. You seem hopelessly drawn to all my broken parts and sharp edges. You don’t see flaws; you see beauty, and you’ve made it clear you have no desire to hide me away. All of this has been spinning around in my head, and I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I hate you, but I also kinda don’t. Not really,” she whispers, her voice trembling.
“There were so many monsters, but none of them stepped in to protect me. None of them tattooed themselves for me,” she says, rubbing her thumb over my wedding band.
“None of them bought me a birthday cake,” she sobs.
“Fuck it.” I undo her seat belt and pull her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her as she cries.
I rub my hand up and down her back until she calms down and lifts her head. Her skin is pale, her eyes red, and her lips puffy from biting them. But she’s never looked more beautiful than she does right now.
“I don’t hate you,” she says, her forehead resting against mine.
“I know.”
“It gets worse.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“I think I’m falling in like with you.”
I grin, sliding my hand into her hair. “It’s about damn time you caught up. I’m way ahead of you, little bird.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Starling
It felt so good to spill my guts to Hudson like that. It didn’t fix everything between us, but it eased the worst of my anger and resentment.
If only it were that simple to fix shit at school.
Abbot was still a no-show and radio silent, making me public enemy number one, especially with tonight being the big game.
Despite worrying about Abbot, I was fucking furious with him. As the days passed with no word, I was starting to question if I ever meant anything to him at all.
I’d been pushed, shoved, and tripped all day, had catty remarks thrown my way, and my locker had been trashed for the third time this week. It seemed even the faculty were pissed at me because they weren’t doing anything to stop it.
I scrub at the tomato sauce covering my top and sigh before giving up. I look in the mirror at my wet hair, which I did manage to get the sauce out of, and curse at the hot mess looking back at me.
“What the fuck am I still doing here?”
Screw it. I’ll text Hudson and see if he’ll pick me up early. I pull out my phone just as the door opens, and Claire steps in with two of her lackeys behind her.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Claire smirks, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Jesus, Claire, could you give it a rest already? I’m not sure what your obsession is with me, but it doesn’t take a psychic to see a restraining order in your future.”
“Fuck you. You messed everything up coming here.”