Page 146 of Toxic Wishes
His head tilted as he began to figure it out.
“Your ex-girlfriend’s cousin?”
“Yes,” I answered under my breath. “And Blakes's high school crush.”
“Oh shit,” he shook his head and took a long gulp of beer. Over the next several minutes, I told him everything, and when I was done, Coach remained silent for several seconds before I started speaking again.
“I know what you're going to s-”
He held out his hand.
“Not so fast. You think I’m going to tell you to forget it and move on, and tell you to get your shit together, it’s only a piece of ass. But I know it’s not as easy as it sounds when a woman messes with your head.”
I run a hand through my hair. “What’s the solution? How do I fix this shit then?”
“Well, that’s up to you, but I doubt it entails messing around with a kid. If she knows your brother, she can’t be over twenty.”
“She’s twenty-one.” I clarified.
“Either way, she’s young, and she’s your ex’s cousin, and it’s probably best you leave that where it started.” He takes another long sip. “But what this proves is that you need companionship. Maybe you’ve outgrown the bachelor life. Fucking those Barbie types. There comes a time when every man needs a good woman to come home to. Probably the only thing that will get your mind off a woman that’s not right for you or you can’t have is to find a better one and claim her for yourself. Which shouldn’t be hard to do. Your Bolt Colt. And if you ask me, I thought Naomi was surely the one you would put a ring on it. She was a knockout. A real class A of a woman.”
My first thought was there wasn’t a better one. He doesn’t know that Naomi may be pretty on the outside, but she is nothing compared to Abigail. As much as I appreciated this advice, a part of me knew I wouldn’t take it. I had no interest in starting a relationship with anyone else, including Naomi. Despite the facts, what had happened between Abigail and me felt natural and organic. She felt like home, and I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever felt that way at all about a woman. And that couldn’t be replicated.
“I appreciate your advice, but that’s not something I’m interested in right now.”
“Okay, well, on to plan B.” he slams his beer can on the table.
“And what’s that?”
“Kicking your ass so you wake the fuck up. Because we can’t have this shit continuing into the season. You got it, Killian? I’m serious.” He glared at me.
I tilt my head back in frustration, rubbing my eyes.
“I promise. I’ll figure this out. I won’t let you down, Coach.”
Although it had felt good to unload on Coach Bently, I was still in a shitty mood when I arrived at my house that night. I always missed Bodie when I was away, but this house felt even more cold and empty without a woman’s presence. Abigail's presence. I hadn’t realized how bad it was until I got back here. I had expensive things in this condo. But my home life here is non-existent in Arizona. Because it wasn’t the things that made a home, it was the people in it. For whatever reason, it at least seemed manageable before Abigail. And talking about her today messed with my head even more. I’ve been trying to forget, like I do with all the girls I come across, but the more effort I put in, the more it seems to screw with my game. Speaking about the situation aloud made me feel even worse about how I left things with her. I’ve had multiple opportunities to get lost in my thoughts, drawing them out with other women, but I have no desire to go there. I had no desire to have sex with any other woman, not right now. I guess I wasn't ready to move on even though I told Abigail to do just that, move on. Instead, I would close my eyes at night and imagine her smell, being close to her, holding her. Then I’d get sick thinking another guy was doing those same things to her. I’m a grown-ass man, but that doesn't matter because when you’re down this low, there is typically only one person who can make it better. Picking up my phone, I scroll down to her name. After a few rings, she picked up.
“Colt?”
“Hey Momma, what’s going on?”
“Oh, just finished eating dinner, and Bodie is upstairs getting his pajamas on. We had dinner early this evening since Hildegard wasn’t feeling well. I sent her home and made myself useful.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You sound tired,” she says. Another way of saying I sound like shit.
“Yeah, it’s been pretty hectic around here,” I tell her. “Where is Bodie now?”
“Coming down the stairs as we speak.”
“Put him on. I want to speak to him before he goes to bed,”
I hear some faint noises before I hear. “Hey, Dad!” The sound of his voice goes straight to my heart.
“Hey, Bodie Bear, what’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing much, just hanging out with grandma. I miss you, dad.”