Page 61 of Toxic Wishes

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Page 61 of Toxic Wishes

I turned to face her. “Did you have some already?”

“I’m not much of a coffee drinker.”

She made this just for me?

“That’s too bad,” I say, brushing off the fact that this girl has been more thoughtful for the past twenty-four hours than Bodie’s mother has in six years.

I pour a cup and put a bit of sugar and lots of creamer in my mug. I liked coffee as long as it tasted like a sugary milk drink.

I take a sip as my eyes peek over the brim of the mug, watching her move from one spot to another. She had yogurt displayed on the counter, and I’m no expert but never in my life have I made French toast with yogurt.

She was a mystery to me, but so was my brother. Every time I looked at her, it was hard not to be reminded of him. I sat on the island across from the stove and placed my coffee cup down gently. “Tell me more about Blake.”

She froze as if I had a gun in my hand, holding her at gunpoint.

“I mean, was he—-was he happy?”

She placed the strawberries back on the kitchen counter before slowly turning around.

“Yes, when he had drugs in his system.”

Her words were direct, not sugarcoating a damn thing.

I grit my teeth together, hating the fact my brother did have a drug problem, and I wasn’t even aware of how bad it was until it was too late. He was good at keeping secrets and hiding things.

“Or when he was playing his guitar. Listening to music, talking about nothing.” A faint smile brushed her lips, and as quickly as it came, it was gone when I spoke again.

“Did he have any friends besides you?” Realizing that question came across as sort of presumptuous, I add. “I didn’t hear him talk about anyone; he would disappear from time to time at odd hours, and you told me that you guys didn’t see each other outside of school much. So….”

Unless she was lying, and they saw each other more than she was putting off.

“He had acquaintances, more than friends. The friends he did have, they all ended up fucking each others girlfriends, and that circle eventually went to shit too.”

“Wait, Blake did what?”

“Oh no, Blake was the only one that didn’t participate in that fuckery. Literally. Brooks, Eddison, and Duke started changing once one of the music videos Blake posted of the Fallen Angels, went viral. They all let it get to their heads before they even got their first gig. Well, they did get a showing at a few places, but that was all thanks to Blakes's effort, too.”

“I didn’t even know Blake was involved in music like that. I just thought he loved rock n’ roll and all that shit because he was on drugs. I figured, most people who did drugs were into music. Hand in hand kinda thing.”

“I wasn’t.”

I look up and her face is stoic, as if my idiocracy does not amuse her.

Before I can redeem myself, my son’s presence saves me from digging myself into a deeper hole.

“Something smells good, Daddy.”

I swivel around on my chair and hold out my hands. Hey there, Bodie Bear.” I lift him up in my arms and give him a big hug and kiss.

“You sleep good?”

He nods his head dramatically. “Yup, are we going to see the horses today, Daddy?

“ I don’t know. Maybe, it depends on how the day goes. How about we eat breakfast first, and then we can decide? Okay?”

“But you promised I’d get to see Bolt.”

Abigail raises an eyebrow at me. “Bolt?”




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