Page 66 of Toxic Wishes

“So he almost did marry her?” I ask

“Yes, until he came to his senses.”

“Did he not love her?”

“Colt is… I’m not sure how to put this without just saying it.”

I knew where she was going with this. “He closed up his heart after a tragic experience, and ever since then, he isn’t the type to put his heart on display.”

Blake’s death. She was talking about Blake's death, but I played dumb.

“Did something happen to him?” I ask.

“No, no. Cliff is…. let’s just say he loved to spread his seed. Colt has three siblings that we know of.” She laughs lightly to herself. “But one of them passed away, and Colt took it hard, and I think it’s because it was around the time Blake and he were getting close, well I say close. Colt never got close to any of his siblings except for Blake. He even told me he was going to try to take full custody of him once he felt like Blake would open his eyes and see Cliff’s true colors. But that day never came. Blake worshiped the ground his dad walked on, and from the outside looking in, I couldn’t blame him. Cliff was drop-dead gorgeous, an ex-NFL player, and one of the biggest charmers I knew. But he was a real mess deep down, and Colt was finding out all this stuff that Cliff kept hidden from the media when he forced Colt to help raise Blake. The biggest misconception of it all to the media was that he was broke as a joke. And poor Blake wasn’t aware because Cliff had a knack for dating successful women. Somehow their success made his failure feel less like a fuck up. Excuse my French.” She takes a sip of her tea.

I laughed to myself. “None taken,”

“Josh never talked about his dad or mentioned the name Cliff.” I try to act like I know nothing about Blake. I wasn’t sure if Colt wanted me to even reveal that to his mom, so I just played it off as if I was ignorant. The fact that I know Josh and Blake, on top of Colt who dated my cousin, is enough to mind fuck any old lady.

“Ya, well, that’s because Cliff didn’t even stay with Josh’s mom but a mere few seconds.”

“But they had a kid together?.”

“It’s a figure of speech. She was a wine-and-dine kinda gal. Nice lady. I met her once when they came to Colt’s celebration before he went to the NFL. Cliff had no idea she was even pregnant until she told him five months later. By that point, she was already with the guy Josh calls his dad. She was a pretty thang, but man, dumb as rocks. How on earth do you not know if you’re pregnant until five months? I mean, by that point, surely you would feel something is different. It's a human being growing inside you for crying out loud.”

“She didn’t know?”

“She claimed she had messed up periods to begin with. And she was so tiny, her stomach just looked like she ate a cheeseburger at 5 months.”

I enjoyed talking to Colt's mom. She was actually very intriguing, and she wasn’t lying, she loved to talk. But I didn’t mind since it felt like the first time in a long time someone remembered I was here.

“Momma, you’re not scaring her away with all the family drama, are you?”

I look over and Colt has his shirt off, and a thin sheen of sweat is covering his torso.

Holy shit he was gorgeous.

He put on a baseball hat that read Arizona Cardinals at some point. I had to rub my jaw to make sure it wasn’t hanging open. I've never seen anyone look so damn perfect. I see why my cousin was obsessed with him. When I walked in on him with Heidi, he was fully clothed so I left the rest to my imagination, but the real thing succeeded even my wildest dreams.

“Uh huh, you galloping around with your shirt off isn’t helping so you must not care too much.”

“Grammy, did you see how high Bolt Jumped ?” Bodie asked.

Bodie was sitting in front of Colt, nestled in between his legs. I wasn’t sure how Colt looked sexy and so damn cute at the same time. It was hard to picture him as a dad since Blake made him out to be this selfish asshole. I tried to hold onto Blake's words, but the more I tried, the easier it was to let them go.

“I sure did. See, I told you Bolt needed some exercise. He was waiting for you,” Nora said.

“Ya, I know. Dad said I can stay the night more now that I’ll be seven and ride Bolt whenever I want.”

“Oh, did he now?” His mom sipped her tea, eyeing her son over the glass

“Ya, Grammy would love to spend time with her only grandson. Ain't that right, Ma?”

“I swear, I told myself I did something wrong in my past life to only be surrounded by testosterone all day long, even the horses were males.” She leans over and whispers to me.

“What’s that?” Colt says.

“Oh nothing, dear son.” Her sarcastic tone made me feel something light in my stomach—something foreign. Security, maybe?