Page 82 of Toxic Wishes

“Jenna’s dress is so gorgeous. She’s so damn pretty.”

“I know,” Another girl says.

“What’s up with you and Colt?” Did you guys get back together?” A high-pitched voice chimes in.

“He’s been weird since we hooked up the other night,” Namoi says.

My heart sinks to my stomach. What? They did?

“You’re such a slut.” A girl teases, and they all laugh like a bunch of hyenas in unison.

“I know, but hello, can you blame me? Besides, if a girl wants to keep his interest, she better lay it on him good, if you know what I mean." The girls hoot and holler like they were cheering on their favorite team at a ballgame.

“He likes a deep-throat BJ,” Noami says in a seductive tone.

“Get it, girl!” all the girls squeal.

“What about your cousin, though? Didn’t you say they are living together now?”

“They aren’t living together. Josh, ya know his half-brother I told y'all about, asked him if she could stay there to help her out. Of course Colt being Colt, he said yes. So he’s letting her stay at his lake house while she gets her shit together. I swear she’s always been a problem child.” Naomi says as I hear the faucet turn on.

“Ya, but aren’t you worried they may, ya know.” One of the girls asked so softly that I barely heard her.

I hear Naomi’s laughter. “Definitely not. I mean, even if I found out he messed around with her, I'd probably laugh. She’s no threat to me. Not with a guy like Colt, he’s been with the hottest women alive. I’m one of them. So you think he’ll settle for a girl like Abigail? She’s like a troll compared to him.”

Laughter surrounded the room, and I choked back a sob. My heart pounded faster, waiting to hear what they would say next.

As I waited, my skin started to crawl. I needed to get out of here. The walls felt like they were caving in. I stood up, but right when I was about to flush the toilet, I stopped myself. I can’t let them know I’m in here, so I refrained. Please leave. Please leave.

I closed my eyes and started to imagine myself on a beach with open space to calm my nerves. I hated being in small, confined areas, and a bathroom stall is the worst place to be if you are claustrophobic. But my sister always told me to picture being somewhere like an ocean, with endless space. It worked when I was younger. I just haven’t had to practice it in a while.

“Anyways, I’m sure we will be doing our usual…playing games like we aren’t interested but by the time the night is over, I’ll be riding that dick and he’ll be screaming my name.”

The girls laugh as shuffling noises follow.

Thank God.

I flush the toilet as soon as I hear silence and slide my panties up, pushing the stall door open, panting for air.

I let the words replay in my ears, and a tiny tear runs down my face. But I wipe it away quickly as I speed walk with my phone, unlocking it to open up my apps.

28

Abigail

“Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends.” — Alphonse de Lamartine

I opened the door after tipping the Uber driver and started walking towards the apartment. I needed to leave this lake house tonight, and now that I think about it, I wish I had driven. I thought I would be drinking and celebrating more, but after hearing that conversation in the bathroom with my cousin and whoever else wanted to join in on the Abigail hate bash, I was ready to bolt.

I grab my suitcase and start stuffing the little things I had laid out in the bathroom. I carry all my shampoo and belongings in my arms and stand above my suitcase, letting the items drop inside, not caring where they land. I did this a few times before I cleared out the bathroom. With a heavy heart, I look up and catch my reflection in the long mirror across from me. I try not to cry, but I can’t help it.

“You’re not pretty. You’re fucking ugly,” I say out loud into the dark lonely night.

My conversation with Mel earlier gave me hope that maybe Colt found me slightly attractive, but that was shot and killed by Naomi’s words, along with any sliver of hope.

Naomi was right.

Why the fuck did I think someone like Colt would even find me attractive. I run a hand through my hair aggressively. I don’t understand why I had to be born into this family if all I would ever feel was less than any time I was around them.