Page 94 of Toxic Wishes

“I’m not the one screaming,” I say with a smirk.

She groans loudly, and I see the veins popping out of her neck.

Oh ya, She pissed, but I didn’t give in.

“Besides, sweetheart, I need to give you those cassette tapes.” I know I’m just egging her on more, but like I said, if she weren’t so fucking adorable mad, maybe I would have given in by now.

“I don’t fucking want them!”

“Ya, you do.”

Just like you want me too.

“Oh man, look at the time. I better get going. Bodie is going to wonder.”

I back up a little more, and half my truck is on the main road now, and if I don't move, I’ll be blocking traffic.

“Okay, fine. I’ll get in. Just open the damn door.” She says, throwing her hands up in the air.

I love persistence. It always wears down resistance—perks of being a pro athlete. We don’t give up easily on things we want, and patience becomes like sipping on cold tea on a hot summer day. Soothing.

I pull up slightly and unlock the car door. She opens the back door instead of the front.

“Why are you sitting back there,” I ask, looking over my right shoulder slightly.

“Because you’re an ass, I’m getting my shit.” She tries to pull her suitcase out, but I’m too quick, and I yank her by her shirt to pull her inside.

She squeals, but I ignore it.

“What the fuck!” She says as I hold onto her shirt

I quickly reverse the truck forcefully so the door closes on its own. Once it does, I release her shirt and lock the doors, hitting the child safety button before speeding off. She’s baffled in the back seat as she pulls her hair out of her face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Take me back right now” Her voice is piercing. It's almost toxic to my soul, but I let it go down smoothly, filling up the dark hole that lingers in my chest, because I don’t back down.

“No,” I grunt.

“I said now!” She shouts.

“You don’t have anyone at that house who cares about you,” I tell her

“And I do at your house?” She says, slightly calmer now.

I shoot my eyes in her direction in the rearview mirror. The answer to her question comes so quickly and rings so heavily on the tip of my tongue that I want to tell her. But I don’t, and she stares at me. My unsaid reply was hanging between us. She falters, realization softening her eyes.

“We’re going to get Bodie and then go home.”

“This is insane.” She crosses her arms over her chest and slams her back against my car seat. Her eyes flared. She’s tense and pissed and probably thinks she’ll deal with me with prying eyes later, but I don’t care. I’ve got her. I had no idea what her parents were thinking now, and I didn’t care. Let them scratch their heads and think about what they want for the next five minutes because that’s precisely how long it will take them to forget she exists again.

No wonder she took up Josh’s offer without a big fight. I don’t think she was abused or molested or anything of that nature. But it's obvious she was neglected.

“I’m not one of your siblings,” she says under her breath. “You can’t save me.”

I knew what she meant by that statement. I can’t save her to eliminate the guilt for not saving Blake. And she was right. I would never forgive myself for not taking his addiction more seriously. But that doesn’t mean I couldn't try to help her; I know it's what Blake would have wanted me to do.

With tension building from the emotion in this truck, I go heavy on the gas and get on the road that heads home.

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