Page 42 of Self Studies

I decided to skip over yet another forming argument. “Saffron told me to be careful as well. Specifically against Beryl.”

Roisin nodded. “I said this already, but where Saffron’s our beacon of good, Beryl would be the opposite. As far as anyone can tell, he’s not even trying. I’ve no idea how he eats. I’ve not seen his gem with color in it since I got here. I’m not sure if anyone knows how long he’s been in the Institute. He must have been a kid, but I think he was here before Director Fleming even.”

I moved my gaze to Beryl. The table he and his friend occupied sat right next to the entrance to the cafeteria. Out of the corner of my eye, I’d noticed a variety of students come up to his table briefly before wandering off.

I’d been distracted by everything else, but he’d known my attackers. He said something about the Institute’s video servers as if he had access to them. The healing potion sparkled in my memory. I assumed those cost real money, not rations. They’d not even given me one when I got here, and I’d been shot twice. They couldn’t be handing them out to students for no reason.

My heart skipped. Had he stolen it from Nurse Norah? She’d said the facility was under-supplied. I moved away from the thought. Beryl wouldn’t do that, would he?

“As far as Beryl’s harem,” Roisin continued, noticing the direction of my gaze. “It’s one of the great debates. He’s too powerful not to have one, but he has a wandering eye, if you know what I mean. Except for his Native American friend, the mages in his life don’t seem to stick around long, and a lot of them end up dead.”

My heart fell, and I looked at my empty plate. Advisor Crowe said I was evil. The Magical Authorities even put me on death row.

A shiver of fear ran up my back.

If Saffron was the institute’s ideal of good and Beryl its ideal of evil, what did that make me?

Chapter 7

The sound of knocking woke me up. Layers of sweat made my standard-issue cream pajamas stick to me. Although I couldn’t remember my nightmare, fear still made me tremble. I struggled to move my limbs as if I’d been paralyzed.

Deep breath in, hold and release.

Last night, after marching me back to my dorm, Saffron demanded I stay inside for the rest of the evening. But Mercedes’ snickers and comments made those demands impossible to follow. I’d taken refuge in the library; Alice’s kind smile lifted my heart.

I’d fallen asleep on my stack of books about the nature of good and evil. Alice tried to shoo me out, but I froze, looking out at the dark empty halls. My attackers came to the forefront of my memory. I could almost taste the bloody knife in my mouth.

It had taken me three tries to text Beryl asking for help. Eventually, my fear of the halls drove my finger to press send on the text message. A few minutes later, he’d brightened my world. He bopped me on the nose before wrapping me in his arms. Despite my heavy reading and fear, he’d managed to end my night with a smile.

Too bad my subconscious had focused on something else.

I took another deep breath in, held it, and released. The sound of light footsteps pulled me out of my thoughts. I’d already forgotten knocking was the reason I’d woken up.

“Saffron?” Mercedes asked as she smoothly opened our door.

I bolted to a seated position. The alarm on my phone hadn’t gone off, and the black box wasn’t where I’d left it. After a quick, desperate search, I found it on the floor. The dark screen wouldn’t turn on, despite me charging it last night.

Saffron stiffly leaned against the open door frame and folded his arms. “Mercedes.” He gave her a polite nod. “I thought you’d be running this morning.”

“It’s Aptitudes this weekend, remember, sweetie?” Mercedes said.

Movement caught my eye as Mercedes wrapped her hands around Saffron’s arm. She pulled him into our room and pressed her lips to his. Saffron stiffly reciprocated.

Something unfamiliar and unpleasant squeezed my gut. A sudden need to rip the two apart rushed through me. I had to force my butt to stay on the bed.

Saffron didn’t like me. Although he’d gone out of his way to help me, he’d also made it clear he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Our passionate evening had been his way of protecting Professor Garnet. A sating of pure carnal desire brought on by magic. Just like the professor had said. I didn’t know why it hurt to admit that, but it did.

Before the strange emotions could show on my face, I fled to the washroom. Cold water and a bit of quick meditation helped me compartmentalize my feelings. I pulled my institute uniform over my head with ease. With my hoodie armor on, I re-entered my dorm.

Saffron stood with Mercedes draped around his middle. He eyed my bed. “Why don’t you have bedding?”

Mercedes giggled.

Saffron took a step closer, shrugging Mercedes off him. “What’s the red stuff smudged on the mattress? It looks like it was writing.”

I shrugged, grateful my attempts to get the lipstick out had at least made the words unidentifiable. Saffron already hated me enough; I didn’t need to start something between him and his girlfriend or whatever they had going on.

Mercedes reclaimed her spot at his side and whispered in his ear. Again, that twinge of unhappiness and irrational anger spiked in my stomach. I wrinkled my nose when I recognized it for what it was; jealousy.