Page 10 of Group Studies
I focused on the dirt-packed ground, he didn’t want me, just my magic. “We can talk about this again when my power isn’t coursing through your system, making you feel things you don’t really feel.”
We made it to the lockers. Saffron scowled at me and opened two of them with more force than necessary.
“I know what I feel,” Saffron said. He caught my gaze once more. “Your magic gives me the confidence to admit it.”
Butterflies filled my stomach, but I shooed them away. Saffron hadn’t said how he felt, only what he wanted. I shoved my stuff into the locker. Without another word, we entered the rune-filled dome of the Sphérique.
The last to arrive, the class had already circled up around the center. Professor Garnet gave us a concerned look but didn’t act on it. He couldn’t. Our relationship was a secret which needed to stay hidden.
I didn’t meet anyone’s gaze as I settled into my usual spot between Tanwyn and the angry, sparking Saffron.
Tanwyn leaned over to me. “Pissing off a lot of mages today, I see.”
I wrinkled my nose. “You’ve no idea.”
Professor Garnet’s clap drowned out Tanwyn’s light laugh, officially starting Metaphysics. The sound of the professor's deep voice soothed my worries and fears. I let it wrap around me, slightly sinking into my mage trance, and relaxed.
“Ram, in the middle today,” Professor Garnet stated.
I trained my gaze to the floor as Ram set up his yoga mats on the rune for spirit. Professor Garnet hadn’t picked me to sit in the center of the circle since the first class.Today looked to be no different. I prepared to watch and learn without fully participating.
Time flew by. I worked on my visualizations, observing my fellow students' power flow from my mage trance. Occasionally, I tried to touch my magic through the now super thin barrier holding it back. But nothing happened.
I tapped the magic suppressing clasps around my wrists, unsure if it was only my fault anymore.
Saffron’s fidgeting brought him closer and closer to me. As class ended, he pressed his hand into my lower back and leaned into my ear again. “I want to show you how much you mean to me.”
My core tingled and I fought not to lean into the warmth of his hand. Just like earlier, my barrier dissolved. I chewed on my lower lip. The barrier had something to do with touch. It had to. If I waited long enough, maybe it would be gone for good. But I didn’t want to wait.
Damon put it in me but he was my past. A painful past I didn't want to think about. I lived in the here and now because it made me happy.
Saffron tangled our fingers together. “Aphy.”
My magic strained for release, but I held it back, barely. Once I was sure I wouldn’t transfer, I squeezed Saffron’s hand. Our attraction wasn’t real. Or that was the point Professor Garnet made by not sleeping with me.
When I didn’t answer, he released his grip. We exited the Sphérique together, grabbing our stuff out of the lockers, and walked side by side toward GS.
I searched for something to say and found what I hoped would be a safe topic. “I didn’t touch the two students who made my Shell.”
“What?” Saffron asked.
I blinked, realizing I kinda brought him in mid thought process. “Right, so every time you touch me, my barrier goes away. I think maybe using my magic requires touch. But I didn’t even know the mages who powered my Shell, and nothing sexual happened, to them anyway.”
Saffron shivered and physically moved away from me. “Don’t talk about sex right now, Aphy. If there was even a tree in this cursed courtyard to hide us, I’d already have you pinned to it.”
My walls clenched, and I reminded myself I didn’t want to make things worse. I grasped for something else to talk about with the suddenly very willing-to-share Greek God. “Ah, you said you charged the runes on your Golem earlier?”
He narrowed his eyes, before adjusting his belt and taking my arm. “Yes. It’s my final project. It’s an armored suit which protects the wearer. Ideally it will filter tainted magic. Only it requires way too much magic to power it at the moment.” His shoulders slumped. “I can only activate part of him, and only for ten minutes.”
So much of the technology here was new and exciting. I’d not put it together; it was only getting used because magic wasn’t. Absently, I fingered my illegal socket under my shirt. No one talked about converting magic to electricity. Now that I realized it, it made me uncomfortable.
Saffron continued. “Two hours, Aphy. Your magic kept him powered for two hours, and I still didn’t drain myself. Who are you? Do you know who your parents are?”
I swallowed and shook my head. Damon had been my family. It never really occurred to me I might have more somewhere, and I didn’t know how I felt about it.
“I’m sorry.” Saffron awkwardly squeezed my elbow. “Those connections are what I live for. Family, kids, the future.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Not knowing your roots, your bloodline, I can’t imagine it. Your bastard of a master took your family, and he took your ability to create your own.” My magic cracked around him. “If I could only give you one thing, it would be a family of your own.”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I shut my mouth, and we walked in silence.