Page 34 of Group Studies
“Ugh, Yasmine, you’re so weird,” Mercedes whined. The sound of a hairbrush hitting the countertop rang through the washroom. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Let’s run. I already drank my fertility juice. It needs to soak in.”
I held my breath until the sound of the washroom door closed. Then, I dry heaved violently into the toilet. Not just from nausea. Saffron and Mercedes were trying to get pregnant.
No wonder Saffron hated me for wasting his sperm. I’d told him that very first night I was sterile. I closed my eyes, remembering the look on his face. I hadn’t known him well enough yet, but now, it had been a cross of anger and disappointment. Pregnancy and babies were important to Natural Mages. Neither were things I even knew much about, as they would never happen to me.
A deep pain threatened to make me cry again, but I shoved it down.
Every day, life got more and more complex and harder to keep straight. No wonder all the students at the school bonded over things like torturing new arrivals. I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have joined them. It was something they could control, and I was starting to understand the importance of controlling anything when the world around you gave you squat.
My stomach cramped.
Saffron had control. He’d be free if he knocked up Mercedes. Guilt added to my physical pain. All the false attraction I filled him with must be messing with this head. Was I keeping him here?
I started to hyperventilate. Instead of giving into the panic, I forced myself off the floor and into one of the showers. You’re not the center of the universe. Beryl’s words returned to me as hot water washed away the layer of cold sweat over my skin. Although his words still stung, he’d not said them to be mean.
I looked beyond my own pain to see the bigger picture.
Saffron and Professor Garnet had been together for at least the last year, as far as I could tell. Saffron even told me I started messing with his mind the very first day I arrived, long before I accidentally transferred into him. Saffron’s actions were not my fault.
Although I thought it, it still didn’t feel true.
Running my fingers through my short hair wasn’t calming at all. I rushed my shower and pulled on my uniform. Roisin and Sandy were still fast asleep. I snuck into the halls. Although I hated walking alone, the mornings never worried me quite as much. I skirted the few MA agents I saw as I took the long way around the cafeteria, so I wouldn’t have to smell it.
My favorite spot in the library felt almost like home as I sunk into it. I opened my book for Illusions and Puzzles, but I didn’t see the words. The little bits I heard over the last few days added up in my head.
Saffron and Mercedes were not only an item. They were engaged. One of the most important parts of being a Natural Mage was to pass on your genetic magic to the next generation, and their parents set it up. Mercedes was somehow here by choice. Saffron was also kinda here by choice? If he didn’t want to be here, then why not spend every minute of his time knocking up Mercedes? He obviously enjoyed sex with women as well as men.
I mean, I hated my roommate, but with her curvy athletic build and long wavy red hair, she was gorgeous. Strong, confident, and apparently loaded. Literally, everything I wasn’t. I pulled my mind away from that train of thought before they could take me somewhere dark and focused on my assigned reading.
Time ticked by. I finished my reading for both Doctor Roy and Magnus Tera and still no Ashe. I glanced at his empty seat. He’d said he’d meet me in the morning. I tried to fiddle with my clasps, but felt only skin. Briefly, my worry about Ashe dimmed.
This was the perfect time to try my spell. I still needed to make the two potions, but I’d already rescheduled my tutoring with Professor Garnet to use the alchemy lab tonight.
I took a calming breath.
Nitis said at least five days. It had only been two. My scales were safely resting under the stuffed turtle in my Shell. The minute he got word to me, I’d get my supplies for operation DUMP.
Thinking of my scales brought me full circle to Ashe. I only had them because Ashe broke all the rules to help me. Now he was missing after I forced my magic into him and begged him to bang me. I let my head fall back and took a deep breath. What if they somehow tracked him last night and already knew I lied? I should’ve just told him my plan to turn the clasps in right away.
The tritone blared out of the sound system, jogging me out of my spiral of thoughts. Ashe’s spot was still Asheless. I hurried to my first class, doing my best to ignore my churning stomach.
* * *
My heart thudded in my chest as I shifted from foot to foot in the lunch line. I couldn’t stop looking for Ashe. I messaged him, spent most of the morning distractedly searching for any rumors about him on Mêler, but I turned up nothing. I cornered Saffron’s spiky-haired friend, who exchanged contact info with me, promising to keep an eye out. But he hadn’t seen him either.
“Are you eating alone today?” A familiar voice asked, pausing at my side.
I turned to Ram, my skin crawling. The massive mage’s brown curls looked limp against his forehead. Large bags rested under his eyes.
“Life not as easy without a group of women doing all the hard work for you?” I asked.
Ram tisked. “Those comments are below you, Lover. And I’m rebuilding.”
He pointed at my usual table and waved. I recognized the blonde he’d been tailing during Group Sports.
“She knows you’ll join us eventually,” Ram said. “Here, why don’t you take my tray over to her. The two of you can get to know each other while I get your lunch.”
I shook my head. “Ah, no. I’m not doing that.”