Page 62 of Group Studies
My heart ached. I’d not chosen my master, but I’d chosen Ashe.
“Ashe will find you,” Officer Keres said. “I promise he looks even better in his MA uniform.”
I stood, numbly sliding my phone off the desk. Doctor Roy didn’t remind me to breathe or give me some tips about handling the situation. He squeezed his lips together and stepped toward the door.
An odd tight smile pinched Professor Garnet’s face. “Stick close to Ashe, Aphy. The MA has your back now. It’s a good thing.”
I looked at the floor, biting my lips together. The fog I felt when I first got here clouded my thoughts.
Officer Keres clapped Professor Garnet on the shoulder. “At least one mage here sees reason.”
I winced. Officer Keres’ excitement over the professor’s support made my stomach sour.
Someone slid to my side. Doctor Roy picked up Tanwyn’s scarf from the table and handed it to me. It took me a moment to remember the bruising on my neck.
I couldn’t look at anyone as I exited behind Doctor Roy. Two MA agents fell into step with us as we headed down the wide gray halls.
“Well, on the bright side, you now really know the world doesn’t revolve around you,” Doctor Roy said, cutting through the foggy haze filling my brain. He gave me a concerned look and let out a long breath. “A, stay with me. You’ve gotten caught up in a political power struggle that’s gone on for years. This isn’t only about you. Natural Mages and Rimmed Mages have been fighting for as long as both have existed.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and gave me a friendly squeeze. “Professor Garnet isn’t wrong. In some ways, your life will greatly improve. Trust us, and don’t lose yourself. I know it’s been hard but look at who you’ve become in the last month and hold on to it.”
I shook my head.
Doctor Roy stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop and meet his gaze. “Do not internalize this,” he demanded. “You might be the stone who started the avalanche but think about everything you just saw and heard. You’re not trapped in your master’s world anymore. I shouldn’t be telling you who to trust. You have the right to decide for yourself.” He smiled encouragingly. “Life’s about picking your battles and finding your place.”
“The MA’s decided my place is working for them,” I said, my voice dead. “Just like Damon.”
Doctor Roy gripped my shoulder and gave me a hard look. “Your place in the world is whatever you want it to be. Never forget that.” He released my shoulder and took a deep breath. “Now, let’s get to class.”
I followed him, because that's what I did, follow people. His words swirled into the emotional void my crumbling world created.
We stopped at his office so he could gather his materials. My psychiatrist mumbled to himself as we walked, reminding himself of his lesson plan, as if the world hadn’t turned on its head.
Thick fog blanketed my thoughts. I drifted in it, replaying the conversations in Director Flemmings' office in my head over and over.
Chapter 11
I don’t know how long I sat at my desk looking at nothing. Doctor Roy’s words finally clicked in my brain, making the haze muting my thoughts dissipate. My place in this world would be what I made it. No one could take that from me. Or at least no one would take that from me without a fight.
My lethargic brain snapped out of the half mage trance I’d been in. Doctor Roy paced as he lectured about trust. I managed to type ‘A – Alignment of Interests’ into the little note-taking app on my phone, though I didn’t remember doing it.
A notification blinked at the top of the screen. I flipped to it.
Beryl the Boyfriend: Hear him out.
Glancing at Ashe’s still empty seat, I narrowed my eyes. Beryl couldn’t be talking about Ashe.
A snippet of something Officer Keres said returned to me in a rush: the mage we believe is the kingpin of the black market. He said after looking through my texts. He must be talking about Beryl.
I started to type out a text message warning him but remembered they could track it and stopped. What would I even say? Beryl probably already knew. Maybe Professor Garnet even warned him, or maybe not. He’d sided with Officer Keres. I didn’t know where we stood anymore.
God, I didn’t even know where I stood half the time. If I took away Officer Keres' uniform, everything he said sounded reasonable. I begged to get moved away from Mercedes. Professor Garnet, even Beryl, told me to trust the program, and now Officer Keres' plan had me streamlining through it so I could spend the rest of my life working for the MA.
It was the last part that ruined it for me.
I didn’t know what I wanted, but being stuck under one authority, be it a person or an institution, would not be my future.
The volume of whispers and comments from the students rose. Automatically, I looked toward the door.
I clenched my fists. Ashe looked like a mountain as he stepped into the classroom. His gray rimless eyes watched me with a guarded expression. He didn’t look better in his MA uniform. The heavy material hid his physique. As he stepped forward, his heavy footsteps rang against the floor in clunky thick leather boots. He came to a stop at his usual seat next to me.