Page 84 of Class Studies
The walk to my tower never felt so long.
Chapter 16
I stood under the shower’s hot water and let my thoughts run like the liquid streaming down my body. Memories, facts, and emotions of my time since waking up ran through my head. Once again, today felt like a year in my old life.
Operation DUMP blew up. It wasn’t supposed to fail. I should have an adorable floating turtle following me everywhere. A friend who I couldn’t hurt. A creature I could transfer into without endangering my boyfriends and breaking the law.
I couldn’t shake the feeling I somehow trapped them. And now, with no way to free them, the feeling sunk into my bones.
I closed my eyes and took in a lung full of steamy air.
Stop trying to fix yourself. You’re not broken. Abe’s words came back to me, mixing with Alice’s talks about life being shades of gray and Nurse Norah telling me I belonged to no one but myself.
I balled my pruney fingers into a fist and hit the wall.
If I wasn’t broken, then why did I feel like it?
The hot water wasn’t helping improve my mood. After a final rinse, I wrapped myself up in a towel and stepped out of the washroom.
Five mages occupied my tower. Saffron and Ashe sat across a chessboard at the folding table. Professor Garnet leaned against the kitchen counter, watching the game with a smile curling his lips. Tanwyn had both his arms propped up on the back of my couch, resting his chin on them, either watching the chess game or deep in though I couldn’t tell.
A loud snore ripped through the room, and Vac twitched in his sleep from his spot against my door.
I scanned the room a second time for Beryl. Tanwyn looked up toward my loft, and guilt ate at my stomach.
Saffron and Ashe stood at almost the same time, their game forgotten.
“Why didn’t you fuck’n call?” Ashe bellowed while Saffron said: “What were you thinking?”
“I don’t think it matters what I was thinking.” I grabbed my hair with both hands and wrung it hard. My shock and guilt burned away. I messed up. I failed. I still needed to fix this.
“Beryl barely got to you in time.” Saffron scowled. “Abe called him, and Tanwyn saw him sprinting and followed. What would’ve happened if Tanwyn hadn’t followed?”
I narrowed my eyes. “But he did, and Vac vacuumed up my magic.”
I paused in my hair wringing. That was what my turtle was supposed to do. “Tanwyn, can he—”
Tanwyn lifted his head and waved his hands. “Only wild magic. I know what you’re going to ask, and if it’s important to you, you can try to transfer. But he only eats magic that’s loose in the world.” Tanwyn grimaced. “I’m unsure if you’re into bestiality, but I’m not. So, right, that will get, um, awkward.”
I blinked. “What’s bestiality?”
My tower went dead silent. The pop and crackle from my fireplace echoed.
Ashe shifted awkwardly. “It’s when you fuck animals, Kitten.”
I wrinkled my nose, not even wanting to picture it. “Not into that.”
The four men let out a collective sigh of relief.
Anger curled in my gut. If my answer had been yes, they would’ve done whatever they could to make me happy. This couldn’t be normal; that level of devotion to another person. I clenched my fists. Why didn’t my turtle work?
“While you were in the shower, Tanwyn and Beryl filled us in with what they know about tonight,” Professor Garnet said, studying me. “I’m assuming Abe knows, anyone else?”
I focused on his question. “The recruiter.”
Ashe narrowed his eyes. “Why was Teddy Tederwinkle there?”
I explained, my words clipped with my frustration. “He watched me set up,” I finished. “But I lost track of him, and by the time the chaos cleared, hed broken into Abe’s office.”