Page 78 of Psycho Beasts

I squinted and realized I wasn’t imagining it: the ferret was wearing fake eyelashes, and his dark fur glinted like he’d been dipped in sparkles. Pretty.

Abruptly, I remembered the events of last night, and emotions crushed my chest to the bed.

The men.

I’d done what I had to do, but holy shit, that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

I was wanted for being a half-breed, and the don had threatened all our lives if I dared to bond with them.

He didn’t even know about my fae heritage, and he still forbade it because I was an alpha.

Logically, I was happy with my decision because I’d kept the men safe.

Illogically, I wanted to cry like a little baby while they held me and told me everything was going to be all right.

Maybe that was what growing up was?

Recognizing that it wouldn’t be all right unless you made it so. That sometimes you couldn’t do what you wanted to, only what you had to.

Sometimes, the only person who could save you was yourself.

And if you couldn’t save yourself, all you could save were those you cared about. I’d protected the men by making the only choice any of us could make.

And how had they rewarded me?

Ascher telling me to fuck off, Jax turning his back to me, Xerxes sneering that I should find someone to dominate, and Cobra cutting off his connection to the little snake on my flesh.

The moment he’d severed the connection, the little snake had screamed into my mind like it was dying.

By some miracle, it hadn’t disappeared completely. It was a lighter gray, no longer a dark, shadowy black, but it still moved across my flesh.

Which was weird, because if it was a part of Cobra’s consciousness, it shouldn’t exist after he’d removed his connection from it.

My little miracle snake.

I reached down and kissed it, and it twirled across my fingers and sent me images of comfort.

The ache in my chest persisted.

Cobra was over me.

My emotions boomeranged back and forth between righteous anger and overwhelming pain.

There was no in-between.

A part of me wished to go back in time and tell the men I wanted them to be mine.

It wouldn’t have been hard to give in to my desire and beg them to take me, beg them to fight impossible odds for me and protect me from life’s horror.

But I hadn’t grown up being beaten within an inch of my life to wimp out when it mattered.

I didn’t need any man to fight for me.

I could do it myself.

The don had been clear, and I agreed with Jala that everything happened for a reason.

The men’s reaction to me asking to just be friends was the confirmation I needed that I’d made the right choice.