Page 55 of Catch and Cradle
“Yeah,” I agree, “it might be.”
Neither of us moves.
I watch the rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathes. I’m covered in goose bumps again, but it’s not from the cold.
“Stay right there, okay?”
The call clicks off before I can answer. She turns away from the window, leaving the curtains swaying. I’m still standing there staring up at them when the sound of the front door creaking open echoes in the quiet street.
Becca steps out onto the porch, and I know if she asked me to drop to my knees right then and there, I’d do it. I’d crawl to her. She’s practically glowing in the dim light from the streetlamp. Her feet are bare, and she’s wearing grey sleep shorts under her tank top with a pale pink knitted cardigan thrown on top.
I’ve never seen her wear pink before.
“Hope, we shouldn’t do this.”
I wince like she’s just slammed the door in my face. She didn’t have to come all the way downstairs to tell me that. It wouldn’t hurt so much to hear it with a sheet of glass between us.
“Right,” I say through gritted teeth. The pain and embarrassment have me clenching my jaw to keep from breaking down right here. “Of course.”
“But I...I still want to.”
She takes a step farther onto the porch. I don’t move. I don’t know which way this is going.
“When I’m with you, everything feels right. Everything feels simple, which is crazy because it’s not simple and it hasn’t even been that long since we’ve…gotten close, but I hate feeling like my head’s going one way, and my heart...”
A lump rises in my throat when she looks at me with more longing than I’ve ever seen in her eyes before. I’ve never felt so wanted in so many ways. None of my crushes during my wild kiss-all-the-girls days back in first year made me feel this way. Not even Ethan made me feel this way in the whole time we dated.
This is something rare. This is not something you’re supposed to pass up.
“Just forget about the rest,” I rasp. My throat feels raw. I take a few steps toward her. “For tonight, let’s just forget everything else. I can’t keep ignoring it, Becca, and I don’t want to lose you because of that.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to lose you either.”
I’m at the edge of the porch now. I wait for her to stop this, to tell me to go, but when she doesn’t, I climb the short set of steps to stand in front of her. The shadows of the leaves in the tree shift and twist in a swaying choreography across her skin.
“Do you still want to kiss me?” I whisper.
She nods. Her bottom lip has dropped open, and her gaze is pinned to my mouth.
“So kiss me, Becca.”
For a second, I think she’s going to pull back, but then she lunges for me. One of her hands fists in my hair and the other grips my waist. Her mouth crashes into mine, desperate and demanding.
I’m just as hungry for her. I moan against her as I cup my hands behind her neck, pulling her closer. I always need her closer.
She parts my lips with hers and sweeps her tongue inside my mouth. She tastes sweet and heady with a hint of spice, like some warm autumn drink spiked with a dizzying shot of dark liquor that works its way through my veins as soon as it hits my tongue. Her hand slips under the bottom of my hoodie, and my back arches, pressing my chest into hers.
I realize she doesn’t have a bra on, and I groan. She tightens her grip on my hair and tugs enough to make my scalp sting as she flicks the back of my teeth with her tongue.
No one’s ever done that to me. The shock of the sensation makes me gasp into her mouth. I haven’t even decided whether I like it or not before I’m already desperate for more. She does it again, and I feel my knees start to get wobbly.
I’m the one who walked up here and ordered her to kiss me, but I’m just putty in her hands. I’m completely, totally hers.
“You like that, huh?” she pants when we break apart to catch our breath. Her forehead is pressed to mine, the tips of our noses touching.
“Yeah, that—that felt so good.”
“I can’t get over how good it feels to kiss you.”