Page 100 of The Summer List

1. Skinny dip in the mansion’s pool.

2. Have a summer fling.

3. Smoke a joint.

4. Perform at an open mic.

5. Make a new friend.

6. Attend an insane pool party.

7. Go on a road trip.

8. Post a dance challenge.

9. Get a tattoo or other body modification.

10. Fall in love (whatever that means).

We laugh at some of them, groan at others, and marvel at the fact that we actually did all this.

“Okay, we have to frame this,” Priya says once we reach the end. “I’m going to stop believing this summer actually happened if we don’t, and I don’t want to go back to being boring Priya.”

I look up from where I’ve been holding the paper out in front of me and stare straight into the white hot center of the fire instead.

“You were never boring,” I tell her, “and also…I don’t think we could go back to who we were even if we tried.”

I get to my feet, my gaze still pinned to the flames. I step close enough to feel their heat radiating against my skin.

Then I thrust my arm out to dangle the list over the fire.

All three of them gasp, and Priya starts to shout a protest, but when I glance behind me with the edge of the paper still pinched between my fingers, she goes silent.

“I think we should burn it,” I say.

I wait for someone to disagree, but after a few moments, they all nod.

I turn back to face the table and will myself to let the list go.

At first, my fingers won’t listen. They cling to the paper as I wonder if Priya is right, if I’ll watch this reminder of our summer go up in flames and stop believing I’m the kind of person who can do the things I want to do, even when they terrify me.

The heat on my legs is getting uncomfortable now. I take a little step back and up bumping against Andrea’s knees. She puts a hand on my hip to steady me, but she doesn’t haul me back or push me forwards.

She just lets me know she’s there for me while I figure things out.

I take a deep breath, and then I step back up to the table.

I let the summer list go.

The paper zig-zags down, down, down until the hungry flames reach up and flare bright enough to sting my eyes as they lick the edge of the page.

I sit back down beside Andrea, and we watch as the sheet curls inward, the flames illuminating the words that changed all our lives before they’re burnt down to a few flakes of ash.

I tilt my head onto Andrea’s shoulder and wait for whatever comes next.