Page 58 of Holding Grace

It had been one thing when she’d left, when she’d been out there in the world somewhere and I just hadn’t known where. That had been hard enough. But if she was gone? Truly gone? That would be close to unsurvivable.

I tipped my head back, willing the tears away as I held Grace’s hand a little tighter. I took a deep breath, and another, and another, then lowered my head again to look at her face.

What ifs would do Grace no good and would only drive me crazy. She was here, just asleep for right now, and she was going to be fine. Sometime soon, she’d open her eyes and then, as Della had said, we’d do what came next. Whatever it was, whatever Grace needed, I’d be right by her side to make sure she had it.

Della had told me the one thing I could do to help until all that happened was to talk to Grace. To let her know I was here and, hopefully, give her something to wake up for.

Focusing on that, I got comfortable and started talking.

“Gracie, sweetheart, it’s Michael.” The endearment slipped out, but I kept going. “You might know this already, but in case you don’t, I wanted you to know that you’re in the hospital. Don’t be scared, though, okay? You’re going to be just fine. They’re taking great care of you and I’m going to be right here, right by your side the whole time. You’re safe and there’s nothing to worry about. You just rest and get better.”

I talked on and on, repeating myself, telling Grace she was safe and she was going to be fine, then telling her all about the room she was in, the machines she was hooked up to, and everything I could remember about her nurse. I told her I’d get somebody to bring us some books I could read to her or music to listen to, and every other thing that entered my head, wondering as I talked if most of it even made sense.

Eventually, I wound down, certain that if Grace could hear me, she was wondering if I’d ever shut up. I ran my thumb across her knuckles and ran my eyes over her beautiful, battered face. I listened to the faint sounds of a hospital at night filtering in through Grace’s mostly closed door and wondered what my life would be if Grace had never walked into it.

Finally, I leaned in closer to her and said the words I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“I love you, Grace. Someday, I’ll have the courage to tell you that when you’re awake. But you have to come back to me, sweetheart. Please, Grace. Please, baby, just come back to me and I promise no one will ever hurt you again.”

Grace slept on, serene and peaceful for now. Wishing I could crawl in next to her in bed and hold her, I leaned in and carefully, softly brushed a kiss across her cheek. With one last look at her sweet face, I laid my head on the bed next to our joined hands and gave in to the tiredness sweeping through me.

Chapter 21

Grace

I woke to soft voices and the worst headache of my life. Eyes still closed, I started to frown, wondering if I’d gone on some kind of bender, then stopped as a wave of nausea rolled through me at even that slight movement.

My breathing hitched and the voices stopped, only to start again a second later, closer this time.

“Grace, it’s Michael. Can you open your eyes?”

I tried to speak, but my throat was so dry I couldn’t. I didn’t dare shake my head to answer Michael’s question.

Seeming to understand my predicament, I heard him say, “Hang on a sec,” then I felt a little tap on my bottom lip.

“The straw’s right here. Open up a little so you can get some water.”