Page 26 of The Player's Club

I tossed a pillow at her. Though she wasn’t wrong, was she? Well, maybe about Mac jizzing on my face.

But as far as my relationship with Todd…that had grown stagnant a while ago. It had grown routine, and not in a good way. But I was too much of a coward to admit it to myself because that would mean breaking things off. I hated conflict, and even as much as I was tired of our relationship, I did care about Todd. I didn’t want to hurt him.

“You need to make a decision,” said Hannah. “This dillydallying isn’t helping anybody.”

I sat up, scowling. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not in my position.”

“Oh, poor Elodie. She has the hottest hockey player around wanting to bang her silly.”

I gave her the finger. It only made Hannah cackle.

I gave her all the details about signing a contract with Mac, which widened her eyes. She asked me so many questions that my head spun by the end of the conversation. I also ended up writing some of her questions down because they were definitely things I needed to ask Mac before I signed anything.

Now I’m thinking about this as a when, not an if. That thought alone made me shiver in excitement.

“Do you think I’m insane?” I asked.

Hannah raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “I mean, yeah. But not in a bad way.” She leaned forward, pointing a finger at me. “You need to stop doubting yourself and let yourself have fun.”

“Have you ever done BDSM?”

Hannah laughed. “Me? I’m not the submissive type. I’d probably take that whip and break it over a dude’s head before I’d let him tell me what to do.” Hannah shot me a look. “Do you think you are? I never got submissive vibes from you.”

“I mean, I think there’s something kind of appealing about not having to make any decisions . . .” I shrugged. “At least in the bedroom anyway.”

Hannah was the type of person who reveled in being independent. She’d lamented that trait, mostly because she had a tendency to intimidate any weaker-willed men. Hannah had inadvertently chased off a guy more than once because she hadn’t shown that she’d “needed” him.

I’d never had that problem. I didn’t mind having a guy wanting to feel needed while dating me. But I’d also pretty much been on my own since I was eighteen when my mom had died. I’d had to take care of myself because there hadn’t been anyone else to take care of me.

Hannah had the choice to be independent. I hadn’t. So the thought of giving over the reins to somebody else, especially a man as capable as Mac . . . Yeah, it definitely held an appeal.

It helped that I was attracted to him, dreamed about him constantly, thought about him as often as possible, fantasized about what he’d do to my body if I gave him a chance—

“Elodie? Hello?” Hannah poked me with her foot. “I asked you a question.”

I shook myself. “Sorry. What?”

Hannah waved a hand. “It doesn’t matter. But you do need to make a decision, you know that, right? Whatever you decide, I’m here for you. Especially if it’s getting some amazing BDSM hockey dick.” She winked at me.

When I arrived home, I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. The thought of hurting Todd because I was already attracted to another man didn’t sit right with me.

Was I just feeling this way because I didn’t want to move to San Francisco? I didn’t know anymore.

Or was this thing with Mac for real? Would I regret it if I didn’t let myself have some fun for once?

ELODIE

The following weekend, Todd came to town. He took me out to one of our favorite Mexican places in West Hollywood, where we’d had our second date.

Todd had been the consummate gentleman when we’d first started seeing each other. He hadn’t demanded sex by the third date like other guys I’d gone out with. He’d been patient, letting the relationship develop at a slow pace. He’d taken me out on the town, bought me flowers, and told me I was beautiful.

We’d met when I’d been writing my book. He’d been encouraging, always asking me questions about it, marveling that anyone could write an entire book.

“Writing college papers was bad enough,” he’d lamented. “But an entire book? No way.”

He’d been there for me when my mom’s extended family had tried to reinsert themselves into my life. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with them, considering they’d abandoned my mom when she’d gotten pregnant with me out of wedlock. Even after she and my dad married, they judged her. Then my dad had run off, and they’d let a single mother struggle when she shouldn’t have had to.

Todd had been a good boyfriend. So when he took my hand, his expression open, and he said, “I’m moving back to LA,” I should’ve been overjoyed.