Page 63 of The Player's Club
Mac might not think it’d been wrong, but it was. Caroline had abused him. She’d used him for her own fucked-up desires and then had made him believe it’d been his idea.
But how could I convince Mac? I doubted he’d ever see himself as a victim. Besides, he still cared deeply for Caroline, even if he was no longer in love with her. No matter how tangled and devastating, that kind of bond was difficult to break.
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I let them fall. I realized at that moment that I loved Mac.
When had that happened? I didn’t know. But I’d probably fallen for him the first time I’d seen him at the club. And as our relationship had changed and deepened, my feelings had deepened for him.
So I was in love with Cole Mackenzie. Even though we’d both promised each other that our relationship would be just sex. Oh, I was an idiot!
I started crying harder. I cried until my head pounded and my eyes ached. I cried because Mac was hurting, and I was afraid I’d made things worse. I cried because I loved him, but I could never tell him that.
I cried because I knew I’d get my heart broken, but I was too far gone to end things.
I buried my face in my pillow, punching my mattress for good measure. God, I’d really gone and fucked things up, hadn’t I?
I waited until it was a reasonable hour to call Hannah. When she answered, she sounded groggy.
“Why are you calling me?” She yawned loudly. “Christ, what time is it?”
“I thought you’d be awake for your job.”
“I have the day off. Emma and Ryan are taking the kids to Disneyland.”
“I’m sorry for waking you up. I can call back later—” My voice broke.
“Wait, wait. Are you okay? What happened?”
I started crying again. I told Hannah everything about Mac and Caroline, and she listened without making any of her usual pithy comments.
By the time I’d finished, Hannah had fallen silent.
“Are you still there?” I asked.
“I’m still here. Sorry. I just don’t know what to say.”
That was a first. Hannah always knew what to say. “Am I fucked?”
“Well, maybe. Or maybe not. It’s not like you’ve published any stories about Mac. Do you think he’d really freak out if he knew what your job was? Maybe just don’t mention that you were trying to find dirt on him.”
“I doubt he’d trust me if he found out I work for a tabloid.”
“I mean, everybody in LA seems to work for Hollywood. Everybody knows somebody. But you know him better than I do.”
“I mean, I did sign an NDA.”
Hannah let out a surprised laugh. “Of course you did. Did you happen to mention that to your boss?”
“No. Of course not.”
I could feel Hannah shaking her head through the phone. “Man, and here I thought you always played by the rules, Miss Elodie Andrews. You’ve gotten yourself into quite a pickle.”
“So? What should I do?”
“Well, you can either never tell Mac what your job is, or you can tell him. Those are pretty much your two choices. I guess you could always quit your job, too.”
I sighed loudly. “I can’t. I have bills to pay. There’s no guarantee I’d find another one quickly either.”
“True. So it sounds like you’re just not going to tell him about that part of your life.” Hannah’s tone turned sly. “I mean, isn’t your arrangement just sex, anyway? Does he need to know everything about you?”