Page 80 of The Player's Club

He swore, and then I felt him coming on my back and ass cheeks. I could only shudder and moan, my entire body now total jelly.

I wanted to collapse, but Mac wasn’t done with me. Not yet. He flipped me over and thrust back inside me, my legs hanging over his arms.

“Mac, oh my God—”

“You’ll never get away from me. You hear me?”His gaze drilled through me, and I couldn’t bring myself to look away. I’d never seen Mac this wild and uncontrolled. I pulled him down and kissed him. He grunted and kissed me at the same time he brought me to another body-wracking orgasm.

“Elodie,” he groaned. “Fuck, Elodie.”

He said my name like a prayer. At that moment, I knew that I’d never get Mac out of my heart. He’d invaded and conquered my very soul.

Mac collapsed on top of me, panting. We were both sweaty and exhausted. My entire body was sore. Mac had to help me up, even carrying me over to the bed.

He made sure to use a cool washcloth on my back, kissing the welts he’d left. Now that the adrenaline had dissipated from my body, I felt the full effects of the flogging.

Mac got up and returned with a glass of water and some pills. “So you can sleep,” he explained.

I didn’t even ask what he was giving me. I took the pills and sighed when Mac rubbed some cooling liniment into the welts. Although it stung at first, it felt like heaven a few moments later.

“You should get some sleep,” he said.

I smiled and then yawned. “I’m getting there.” My eyelids were suddenly heavy. “What did you have me take?”

“Something to put you to sleep,” was his wry response.

I yawned a second time. Despite the heaviness in my body, though, my mind just wouldn’t shut off. I couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Mac’s face when he’d brought out the flogger.

I wasn’t mad at him for using it. But I was confused. Was it fair that he’d taken out his anger on me when he was angry with Caroline? Was it healthy? I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to process everything that had just happened. Although I’d told myself I’d wanted him to unleash all his feelings, I now wondered if I’d made things worse.

Or maybe you’re just hurt that he used you like that.

It didn’t help that whatever pills Mac had given me made me groggy. All I wanted was to fall asleep, but my brain wouldn’t let up. I could see Mac in my mind’s eyes, warning me. I saw the darkness there. I’d never seen Mac go to a place like that before.

What if that happened again? Was he going to punish me whenever he was angry about something outside his control?

I turned over, groaning silently, and stared at Mac’s back. I could tell by his breathing that he was asleep.

Oh, Mac. What the hell are we doing?

When I’d signed that damned contract, I’d told myself this was just about exploring a kink. That we’d have some amazing, raunchy sex, and that’d be the end of things.

How could I have been so naive? Our lives had become intertwined to the point that I knew if we ended things, we’d feel the pain of that separation as much as I’d felt the pain of the flogger tonight.

Tears pricked my eyes. I didn’t even know who to be angry with: Mac? Caroline? God? Myself? All of the above?

Caroline, I wish you could see what you’ve done to this man. Maybe then you’d have some remorse.

I couldn’t regret helping Mac relieve some of his own pain. But I also knew I didn’t have infinite strength to bear the brunt of his dark side either. Mac would have to deal with his past on his own. Otherwise, he would never be able to move on.

Finally, blessedly, the meds kicked in, and I fell into a restless sleep.

MAC

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Elodie had fallen asleep quickly—thank God—but I couldn’t turn my brain off.

Anxiety crashed into me like a tsunami. Had I pushed Elodie too hard? She hadn’t used her safe word, but she was still new to BDSM. Had she felt like she couldn’t say no?

I grimaced, rubbing my forehead. The thought that I’d ruined everything between us because I couldn’t keep my own emotions in check . . .