Page 65 of Vicious
May accepts it, letting out soft little sounds for a moment before she realizes what she’s doing. Pulling back, May shakes her head, breathless as she mumbles, “No. Stop. Just stop.”
I keep my arm around her and kiss the top of her head.
“Simon came to me today,” I say quietly.
She freezes, looking at me with apprehensive eyes. “What? About what? Does he know I’m here?”
I shake my head. “No. I didn’t tell him. But he asked for money.”
May drags her bottom lip between her teeth, taking a long moment to process my words. “Oh.” She pauses again, not looking at me. “Did you give it to him?”
“I gave him five thousand dollars,” I say. “Which is more than he asked for. I also don’t know how long that’ll last, considering he said he needed a bit of ‘luck’ to earn more.”
Again, she falls silent, and her shoulders slump. I start to rub them, and she doesn’t try to pull away as she mulls over what I’ve said. Again, she only murmurs, “Oh.”
I want her to react, to respond—to be angry, to be sad, something. But she gives me nothing.
I scowl, annoyed that she doesn’t seem upset about this information. “You know he has a problem, right? He’s never going to get better. He’s just going to drag everybody down with him, over and over.”
“That’s not true,” she says, still defensively, but I can tell from her tone that even she doesn’t believe her own words. “He… He just needs…”
“What, May?” I demand, squeezing her shoulders tightly enough to make her gasp. “He needs what? He already lost his daughter, and he’s still doing the same things. If that doesn’t make him learn, what will?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know, all right?” Finally, there’s the anger I’ve been looking for, but it doesn’t seem directed in the right place. “But that’s why he needs me.”
I make a frustrated noise and release her. For one second, she looks at me with wide, scared eyes, until I take hold of her hand. “Come on. Let’s practice your breaststroke. Exercise will be good for you.”
May doesn’t try to pull away from me, but she grabs my wrist. “I don’t want to practice swimming.”
“This is non-negotiable,” I tell her. “I am not going to risk you actually drowning somewhere. Let’s go, Ah-May.” I pull her along, forcing her to swim alongside me for a few seconds until we get to shallower water. “You remember the movements?”
“Yes,” she says sullenly. “Like this.”
She demonstrates for me, and I nod.
“Good. Now try…”
She tolerates the rest of the lesson, if only barely, and I can’t help but be relieved at the flashes of defiance and annoyance she displays. It’s something, at least.
Drake would probably say that this was a step in the right direction, that her listlessness was something good, but he’d be wrong. If I wanted a blow-up doll, I could get one—and if I wanted an obedient little slave, I’d get a girl like Stef.
No. I want May exactly like she is, with all her attitude and spirit.
The only difference is… I want her to admit she wants me as much as I want her.
CHAPTER 17
May
By the time I get out of the water, my arms feel heavy from all the exercise.
My mind also feels clearer than it has in days, and I hate that Chase was right about that. I have been moping around, letting myself fall into a bout of self-loathing and becoming a pathetic sack like… like Stef.
Which feels really mean to think, but I don’t want to be like her, simping after my “Master’s” words.
Chase extends his hand to me. “Come on, let’s shower. We can see about dinner after that.”
And sex, probably. My cunt throbs strangely at the thought. He’s barely touched me since that night with the whip, and that should have pleased me.