Page 43 of Angel's Forever
“Shh, Hudson. It’s okay. Just let it all out. Please don’t keep the pain to yourself any longer. It will destroy you.”
Nico walked out of the room, and the tears started to fall harder.
“Just give him a little while to calm down. We are all blaming each other and ourselves when really, we should be blaming Vincent. However, if there is anyone between the three of us that has a right to blame himself, it’s me.”
I was about to tell him it really wasn’t his fault when Nico’s voice sounded just a little way away.
“Can you give me a few minutes with Hud, please, Gino?”
I was pleased to hear I was back to Hud and not Hudson anymore. I knew I had a lot of apologizing to do this afternoon, and firstly to Nico.
“I’ll get Luca to help make us some coffee. I’ll order us some food as well. I don’t think any of us are up for cooking this evening.”
Gino pressed a kiss to my cheek and carefully got up from the sofa. As he walked past Nico, he stopped and whispered something into his ear, causing Nico to look down at the floor. Gino pressed a kiss to his cheek and walked out of the room.
We both remained silent for a moment, I guessed not really knowing how to start this conversation. As it had been my fault, I decided that I should be the one to say it first.
“I’m sorry, Nico. You were right. All I have been thinking about while I have been sitting here is myself. I hadn’t thought about what you and Gino were going through. I guess I was jealous that you had each other, and that I was the one sitting here alone. None of that should be used as an excuse for my behavior though. I should never have spoken to you, or anyone, the way I have. I’ll apologize to Luca and Antonio as well.”
Nico’s face softened as he walked over and sat in the chair opposite me, the tears starting to appear in his eyes.
“I’m sorry as well. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you either. I should have realized how difficult it was for you, being here on your own. I should have thought about how you were feeling, but I was so worried about Gino that I couldn’t think of anyone else because it hurt too much. At least I had something else to focus on, but you didn’t. Can we please start again?”
He got up from his seat and kneeled in front of me, moving in between my legs and placing his head against my chest while putting his arms around me. I returned his hug, and we stayed like that, holding each other without saying a word. We were pulled from our quiet moment by Gino, who must have come back into the room.
“Well, thank fuck for that. I thought I was going to have to get the guys to bang your heads together, seeing as I am in no fit state to do it myself. There is coffee in the kitchen, and the food is on its way. I have told Luca and Antonio to use my apartment for the night just in case we need them for anything. I’ll leave you two alone again.”
He went to walk out, but I stopped him before he could leave.
“Gino, thank you. Just for the record, I don’t blame you anymore for what happened. I will be honest and say I did, but that was because I was looking for someone to blame except myself. We all could have done things differently, and the outcome may have been the same. I know you blame yourself, but please don’t. You have been through too much to take that pain on as well.”
He gave me a small smile. I could tell he didn’t believe it himself, and that it would probably take him a while to come to terms with what happened, but I was determined to make him see that because if he didn’t, then it could be the end of Gino being part of our relationship.
Nico looked at me, and I could tell he was thinking the same before he even spoke.
“Nothing I’ve said could convince him that it wasn’t his fault. I’ve tried for the past two days. We just have to keep trying. He will stay with us at least until we have Rosa safe and sound. Once that happens, we just have to hope that Rosa can convince him to stay. However, I can assure you, I will go back home to get him if he goes.”
I had guessed that now that Nico had Gino, he would fight to keep him in our lives, like he would with Gaby or me. There was a time when I would have just let him go, but after my birthday surprise, there was no way I would give Gino up without a fight. It had surprised me that I could have those feelings for him, but I did. I got up from my seat, and Nico and I walked into the kitchen to find Gino sitting there deep in thought. Both of us walked up either side of him and kissed him on each cheek. We both put our arms around him and gave him a gentle hug, knowing that he was probably still in pain.
“Thanks, guys, but don’t try to convince me of anything. Nothing you say can change my thoughts at the moment, especially with the pain I am feeling.”
I looked over at Nico, and he gave me a small nod.
“Okay, Gino,” I said. “We won’t say anything for now. But please don’t keep anything to yourself. Please talk to us. We are all hurting, and as you said, keeping it to ourselves is causing us more pain. Let’s just agree for now to be there for each other, no matter what, and talk.”
“Okay, Hudson. I can agree to that if you promise not to use the bottom of a glass of whiskey to get through the day from now on.”
I knew he was right. The answer wasn’t in a bottle of whiskey. It never had been.
“Okay, deal. Now let’s get some food in us and try to get a reasonable night's sleep. Then we can face tomorrow together.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
VINCENT
I HAD BEEN TRYING to call Nikolai for the past twenty-four hours with no reply. I was starting to worry that something had happened to him. That he had been found out and I was now on my own. I had left Ella in bed this morning, as she had been fast asleep when I went in to check on her. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to wake her, so I had just made breakfast for myself and would make some for her when she woke.
I sat there scrolling through the countless messages I had received from the managers of my company. The place was falling apart, but I really couldn’t have cared less. That was the least of my worries right now. I couldn’t go back to Detroit, so there was no way I could go back to work. Even my father had been messaging me to try to find out what was going on, but I wasn’t going to answer any of them.