Page 50 of Old Habits
Chapter 15
Will
I’ve learned over the last several years that relationships aren’t black or white. They aren’t bad or good. No relationship in the entirety of human history has worked that way. Jovie and me included.
It’s a spectrum. When things were bad with Jovie, they were bad, stretching all the way out to the far left side of the graph. But when they were good, the pendulum would sway in the other direction. Two extremes, both equally as crushing and passionate as the other.
But, you know, Jovie’s passion is what drew me to her in the first place.
I walk down Ninth Street toward the house she grew up in. A breeze passes by but it’s not biting and cold as it was this morning. It’s warm and tender; an early tease of spring. Is it coincidence that it’s here just in time for mine and Jovie’s date? Probably, but I’m not one to question nature’s way.
No, I question people and I still have a few questions for Jovie Ross.
I reach her house and the front door opens before I have a chance to knock.
Jovie rushes out and closes the door behind her just as quickly. “Hey,” she says, flashing a smile.
“Hey…” My eyes trail down her little, black dress. It’s tight around her hips with deep red lines along the seams. I raise a brow, searching my memory as she slips her jacket over her bare shoulders. “Is that…?”
“Prom night, senior year.” She nods. “It’s the only thing casual date-like I had in my closet that still fits and doesn’t have sequins all over it. Honestly, what the hell were we thinking with all the sequins?”
“No idea.” I shrug.
“Oh, well.”
The door swings open behind her and Hank sticks his head out. His black eyes land on me and he frowns before retreating right back inside and slamming the door.
“I guess he remembers me,” I say.
“He never gave two shits about who I dated my entire life. Now, all of a sudden, it’s ‘where are you going? Why are you wearing that? Who are you hooking up with now?’”
“You think he might actually be worried about you?” I ask. “I mean, you were missing for a while…”
“Not to him. I sent postcards.”
I pause. “You did?”
She nods. “Every few weeks or so.”
“And you never thought to drop one in the mailbox for me?”
Jovie takes a serious breath. “Listen, Will… before we go any further here, we should talk about that.”
My chest skips with anticipation. Four years of waiting and wondering where she was. I might actually get some answers tonight.
“Okay,” I say.
She wets her lips. “I want us to start over with a blank slate.”
“A blank slate?”
“We’ve been through a lot together already,” she continues. “Things were said and done on both sides that we’d rather take back but we can’t unless we both agree to start over. We can’t make this work with the last few years hovering over our heads, right? I want to keep it in the past where it belongs and I…” she pauses, “I don’t want you to ask me where I was or why I left again.”
I remember what my mother told me. It’s none of my business until Jovie makes it my business. The more I reconnect with Jovie, the more I understand that… and the more I hate it, too. I’m not entitled to the answers I want and Jovie won’t give them unless she trusts me enough to let me back in. If starting over is a step in that direction, then it’s what I’ll do.
“Right,” I say. “That might be the best thing for us, I think.”
“Yeah?”