Page 15 of Lumberjack Bride
Five
Hazel
I stareup at the ceiling of my old bedroom. It’s been so long since I’ve been back and, honestly, I never thought I ever would be here again.
I was so sure Leo was it for me. How did I never stop and wonder why it was so easy? We met. We fought. We connected. I fell in love at the drop of a hat, completely fueled by this romanticized notion of fate. But I thought, well, it happened to my parents.
Why not me, too?
But I never saw the whole story. I only saw what was on the surface of their apparently perfect relationship.
Scratch the surface of me and Leo and what darkness will you eventually find?
A soft knocking taps on my door.
“Hazel?”
I breathe out. “Yeah, Nana?” I ask.
The knob twists and my grandmother pokes her head inside.
“Do you need anything, honey?” she asks, her eyes filled with sympathy.
“No,” I answer. “Not since you asked me ten minutes ago.”
She pushes the door open the rest of the way and walks into my room.
“Nana, really...” I wave a hand, feeling tears building in my eyes. “I just want to be left alone right now.”
“And I want to be packing a bag for my granddaughter’s wedding but we can’t always get what we want,” she says, sitting down on the end of my bed. “So, what’d he do?”
“Nothing.”
“Then, what did you do?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Nothing.”
“Then, why the cold feet?”
“This isn’t cold feet, Nana,” I say, sitting up. “I just don’t see how I can marry him after...”
I taper off. I’m not sure how much my grandmother knows about. If she doesn’t know, then I don’t want to be the one to tell her about my mother’s affair.
“After what?” she asks.
I sigh. “Nana, did my parents ever fight?”
“Oh, Lordy,” she murmurs. “Constantly.”
“Really?”
“Never in front of you, of course,” she says. “Or me, for that matter. Mostly just over little things and she’d vent to me if she ever felt the need.” She squints. “Why? Did you and Leo get in a fight?”
I shake my head. “No.”
I think of the first day I met Leo. Practically shouting back and forth on his porch. That all changed the day he showed up with that tree trunk. After that, all fighting was playful and fun. Never malicious or from annoyance. We were the perfect fit, I thought.
My mother thought she and my father were the perfect fit, too. They drifted apart. Why didn’t they break it off when they had the chance? Did they stay together because of me? How long until Leo starts looking elsewhere? How long before I do?