Page 67 of Shattered Dreams

“Can’t change it.”

“How did I let that happen?”

“I don’t know, baby.” His arms tightened around me. “Why did you stay so long?”

“I kept telling myself it would get better. That he meant it when he said he was sorry and would change. Then when Harrison came along. It got better for a bit, then Grady came along, and it got worse, then Tyler and things declined more.”

“Why didn’t you leave then?”

“Fear.”

Richard squeezed me tight.

“Then Briar came along. And women started coming out of the woodwork, telling me he was sleeping with them. One woman told me he was the father of her son. That was great. We ended up fighting, and it ended with sex, and poof! Here comes Emma and my mom was sick and that’s when I found a way out.”

“Do you want to go back?”

“God no.” I laughed sardonically.

“Good.” He nuzzled my neck. “Let’s get some sleep, baby.”

“But …”

“But what?”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“I left you hangin’.”

He chuckled in my ear. “I’m a grown ass man. I can wait.”

“G’night, Richie.”

“Night, beautiful.”

Emma’s wail woke me up, followed by Briar’s. Richard’s arms weren’t around me, and I didn’t feel him behind me. I sat and looked around the room, and realized I was alone.

I rolled out of bed and went into the other room to find the boys still asleep, and Richie in the spare bed.

He moved so the kids wouldn’t know.

I got Briar out of the playpen and then picked up Emma. We went back to the other room for diaper changes, baby food, and a nursing. I’d just settled Emma on my lap when Richard stumbled in, scratching his belly and morning wood, standing proud.

“That’s attractive.” I joked.

“That’s right. This fuzzy body right here needs scratches.” He did an exaggerated hip dance.

Briar jumped around happily singing her own song and head-butted his morning wood, making him gasp and bend forward. “Oof.”

“Briar, come here.” My body went rigid with fear. “Are you okay?”

His nostrils flared with irritation. “I was until you reacted like I was that jackass.”

My mouth opened, and no words came out.

“I’m nothim, Jolynn.”