Page 13 of All or Notching
I roll my head to the side to see Tristan, thankful he asked the question because I’m about to burst. I usually don’t hesitate, but for some strange reason, I can’t seem to force my mouth open. Maybe I’m still in shock? Shock about the baby. Surprised that Tristan didn’t run screaming. He seems very supportive. But for how long? Will he still be around when this baby is born? When it’s sick? When it starts school?
“Everything looks perfect.” She gives us a bright, genuine smile. “Sorry, when I start taking measurements, I get so absorbed I forget I have a patient who’s probably wondering what is going on.” She quickly looks at me, Tristan, and then back to the screen, moving the stick again. “Here is the baby’s head. The arms and legs.” She draws imaginary lines around each shape on the screen.
I don’t see arms or legs. I see indescribable shapes.
“Here’s the heart. Your baby has a nice healthy heartbeat.”
Okay, I can see that, but only because the shape is consistently pulsing.
“Do you want to know the sex?”
“It’s not too early?” Again, he’s the one conversing with her. I’m bouncing back and forth between them, a spectator to their conversation.
“Normally, yes, by a few weeks, but the baby is in a great position.” She looks at us expectantly. “Well?”
Tristan finally swings his attention to me. “Laurel?”
I don’t know. Did my sisters find out in advance? I rack my brain but can’t remember. I envision the baby shower for one of them, and I can see lots of pink. Now that I think about it, I also remember her disappointment when she had her third girl, the one time she didn’t discover the gender in advance. I like being prepared. “Yes. Please, I’d like to know.”
Tristan takes my hand and squeezes it, calming me and giving me a measure of comfort I desperately need. “Then let’s find out.”
She moves the stick over my belly until she finds the area she’s looking for. “See that?”
I still see nothing other than shapes.
But I look up and notice Tristan grinning ear to ear. “Is that what I think it is?”
Ms. Pretty turns to him, smiles, and nods. Damn it, she has a pretty smile too. I wonder if they dated. Maybe they’re still dating.
I finally find my voice. “Can one of you please let me in on the news?”
Tristan gazes down at me. “It’s a boy.”
A boy. I’m having a baby boy.
Oh. My. God. I’m pregnant, and I’m having a baby boy.
This just got very real.
We both thank the technician for squeezing us in so late in the day, and she leaves the room, giving us a few minutes of privacy to soak in the news. I swing my attention back to the monitor, frozen on the last image. I focus on the picture, looking for what they both see.
Finally, things take shape, and I can make out the roundness of his head, the legs curled up, and arms. Oh my. Is that his hand? I place my hand on my stomach, right over where he’s nestled.
A sense of awe slowly wraps around me like a warm blanket. I’m going to be a mother. I can’t believe it’s even possible. I never thought I’d be in this situation. I’m sad that mom and dad will never get to see their grandson, but I hope they know about him. I hope they can be his guardian angels when he needs them.
“Laurel, are you okay?” He grabs a tissue and wipes it down my cheeks. “You’re crying.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. This is an emotional moment. I imagine it must be overwhelming.”
I stare into his eyes. “It must be for you as well.”
“I never considered children in my life.”
“Neither have I.”
“Are you happy about this baby, Laurel? I need to know you want it.”