Page 15 of All or Notching
I’ve walked into this room thousands of times. It’s always been a place of refuge. While I have a perfectly suitable living room downstairs, I like spending time in my bedroom. It’s pretty and cozy with the white bed, tall spindle posts in all four corners, matching nightstands, and a dresser. The best part is the oversized comfortable reading chair by the window. The navy bedding and white decorative pillows add an extra punch that appeals to my feminine side.
Only this time, when I enter, my gaze flies to the bed.
Forcing my eyes away, I move over to my long mirror and stand in front of it. I turn to the side and automatically place my hand over my middle, over the slight bulge I only now notice. How could I have missed it?
I pull my shirt out of my pants and pull it up, exposing my stomach. I assumed I’d gained a couple pounds when I thought my clothing seemed a little snug. My body has been changing, and I never noticed. I should have realized that although I may have felt like crap or tired, I still ate. I still slept. I lost no weight.
In my adjoining bathroom, I start running water, hoping a shower may help me relax. Under the hot stream, I run my hands over my skin. Now that I know it’s there, the changes are obvious—the slight curve to my belly, the rounding of my breasts, they’re heavier too. Tristan was right; this baby will start to show in a few weeks.
The tears fall, and I slide down the shower wall to sit on the floor, letting the water cascade over me. I will be a single mother. I don’t even know all the things I should worry about. I know I should be happy, and I am.I am.But I’m scared. I’m disappointed in myself for my carelessness. I wouldn't be in this situation if I didn’t go home with Tristan. But if I hadn’t met Tristan, I wouldn’t have this baby growing inside of me.
The silver lining? It was my parents’ deepest wish that I find somebody to love and settle down to raise a family. They’ll get half their wish, at least.
CHAPTER 6
Tristan
I’m going to be a father.
Those words have been running through my head since Laurel and I entered our separate vehicles the other day. I haven’t said anything to anybody yet, because I’m still trying to get used to the news myself. But we need to figure out where to go from here.
I had decided long ago to not pursue a family. I may have followed in my father’s footsteps career-wise, but I had no intention of repeating his mistakes. After mom miscarried while dad spent his days and nights at the hospital instead of with his family, my sister and I promised we’d never do that to our families. The only way to avoid that is to not invest in one.
But whether I want one or not, I will have one.The question is, how do we make this work? She needs somebody who will be there for her and the baby. My job will keep me away. I’ll miss all the important moments.
I pull into her driveway and shut off the car. Immediately, my mind goes back to that night a few months ago. I remember seeing her at the bar and thinking how beautiful she was. She and her friends looked like they were letting off a little steam, but the attraction felt like a smack to the back of my head when our gazes connected. From all the way down the bar, a couple of dozen people at least between us, conversations competing with the music, she drew me into her world.
I never planned to spend the night when I saw her home. The Uber was waiting at the curb. It was late. My intention was to ensure she got inside safely.
But then we kissed.
The Uber left, and we fell into her entryway and found our way to her bed. Every touch, taste, smell, how she looked lying naked on her bed, and the moonlight streaming in from the window over her body is ingrained in my memory. I’ve relived that night many times over since then. And now, here I am. I just never thought it would be because we started something that night. Something that would bind us for the rest of our lives.
I climb from the car and approach her door, unsure how this will work. We live different lives, have different goals. We know nothing about each other.
I raise my hand to press the bell, but the door swings open before I connect.
“Tristan. What are you doing here?”
There’s a look of surprise on her face, but there are also dark circles under her eyes, and her skin is pale.
“I wanted to check in with you. How are you?”
She waves her hand at me in a dismissive manner. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
“Are you getting enough rest?”
The look she fires in my direction makes me regret the question. “We should talk.”
“About?”
Is she serious? “Laurel, we’re having a baby.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
“I think we should get to know each other.”
“Won’t your girlfriend, or your fiancé or your wife have a problem with us spending so much time together?”