Page 40 of Dark Restraint
She’s still shifting and not quite meeting my gaze. “How are you so good at all this? I feel like I’m fumbling my way through the sex, to say nothing of this…relationship.”
It’s tempting to avoid answering, but she’s given me a priceless gift, and at this point, it’s everything I can do not to fall to my knees before her. “I read your books.”
She blinks. “What?”
“Your books. The ones you only read in your room so no one else knows.” Now it’s my turn to shift, my skin hot. “I was curious, so I grabbed one of them. Then I’d just switch it out for the next one. Plus, sweetheart, your favorited fanfics are public. Between the two, I got a good idea of what you might like.” Both in the bedroom and out of it.
“I mean, I knew it was public, but you’d have to know my screen name and…” She snorts and shakes her head. “Of course you do. How many times have I read fanfic when we spent time together over the years? I never thought you were paying attention.”
“I was.” Her tastes are varied and occasionally shocked even me, but I liked the little window into her fantasies. “Even without all that, it’s not like you’re subtle about what you like—at least when someone knows how to read you.”
She kisses my knuckles. “After all this time, you’re just full of surprises.”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Asterion?”
I swallow hard at the look on her face, at the way her eyes got hot, and she licks her lips slowly. “Yeah?”
“If we’re talking about firsts, I’ve never sucked a cock before.”
Suddenly, there’s not enough air in the room. I think I make a sound, but it’s hard to tell over the rushing blood in my ears. “I, uh, have never had mine sucked.”
Her grin lights up the room. “Well, then. I have a brilliant idea.”
20
Ariadne
This morning, when I woke up well rested and slightly peeved at Dionysus for drugging me, I couldn’t shake the conversation we had. Or the truth within it. Dionysus was right. Doing this now, for me, might be a leap of faith, but is it really a leap of faith when Asterion will be there to catch me?
Our conversation this morning, the way he’s looking at me now, has made things even clearer. He was never going to kill me. What he said in the maze is the truth between us.
And now he stands before me, as vulnerable as I’ve ever seen him. There is no wall of coldness and violence between us now. Only the truth. It’s going to take some time to process all this. But I don’t have to do it right now. Not when I can offer this experience, not when I can give us both something pure and free. All our challenges will still be waiting on the other side.
I hold his gaze and hook my fingers into the front of his pants once more. This time, there are no secrets left between us to stop things. We put them all to rest. Or at least I hope we have. I tug his pants down to free his cock. “May I?”
He huffs out a strangled laugh. “Sweetheart, I might die if you don’t.”
Considering I feel the same way, I don’t hesitate or ask again. I simply lean forward and take him into my mouth. I’ve read about this act more times than I can count, have fantasized about it an equal amount. In reality, it’s…different. His cock is wide on my tongue, and it feels like I barely take the tip of him into my mouth before my gag reflex kicks in. I ease back, embarrassment heating my cheeks. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.
But when I look up, Asterion is staring down at me just like he did that first day we met. As if I’m a goddess he fully intends on spending the rest of his life worshipping. As if he can’t believe how lucky he is that I even deigned to acknowledge him.
That gives me the courage and confidence to lean forward and lick the head of his cock. He makes a sound like he’s in pain. He tentatively slides his fingers into my hair, but he’s not pulling me away from him—or pulling me closer. It’s almost as if he’s hanging on for dear life. Maybe he feels as unmoored as I do in this moment.
I lick my lips. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You’re perfect, sweetheart.” He still sounds strangled.
I cautiously wrap up my fist around his cock as best I’m able to and take him into my mouth again. This time, I go slower, feeling my way. I’m able to take him deeper before my gag reflex kicks in again. His fingers spasm in my hair.
It seems to defy belief that my awkward ministrations are affecting him so deeply, but I can’t deny the evidence right in front of me. Every touch, suck, and lick results in some kind of noise pulled from his lips seemingly against his will.
Distantly, the solution comes to me. What I need from this interaction, what he might need as well. I ease off him again. “Fuck my mouth.”
“What?”
I could tell him that I’m worried I won’t be able to give him what he needs, that I’m flat out floundering, even as I enjoy this exploration. But the truth is simpler. He was right when he said that soft isn’t the way. I can enjoy it for what it is, but it’s not what I need. What I suspect we both need. “Please.”