Page 1 of These Wicked Desires

Ellis

“Spread your legs more,” Kai says, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. His gray eyes closely watch me and Cade.

“More? Pretty soon I’m going to be doing the splits,” I grumble, but comply.

“The wider your legs the more stable your base of support. With those wings, you need a bigger base of support for balance.” Kai tilts his head to the side, raising one pierced brow. He knows I already know this.

My hands fall to my sides, fists loosening. “Can we take a break?”

“We just started,” Cade says.

My head falls back and I groan. He’s right. We’ve only been outside for five minutes, but learning how to fight, how to move, with these godsforsaken wings is too much. For the past three days these stupid things have been ruining my life. I’ve knocked paintings off the walls, all the lamps are broken, Cade had to heal Kai’s broken nose from where one of my wings smacked him in the face, sleeping has been impossible. And forget about sex.

I just want to have sex again. The one time we tried was when I broke Kai’s nose. I haven’t had the energy or mind set to try again after that. Every time I do, I catch a flutter of white in my peripheral and instantly go into pissy mode.

I raise my head and grimace as some of my hair gets tangled in feathers. “Son of a bitch!” I yank my hair free and scream, stomping my foot like a child. It feels good. For a second. Then I just feel exhausted. Deep in my bones, the ache of needing a break causes my shoulders to slump, and I hang my head forward, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself.

Sterling steps in front of me. I know it's him by the scent. Pine and winter nights. He gently lifts my chin with his fingers, and I stare into those glacial blue eyes, my mate’s eyes. “Hey, let’s try something. I think you could use a break from those things.”

I snort. “You think? I’ve tried Sterling. I can’t make them go away.” I know I’m whining, but seriously, I just want to catch my breath. I want a moment of normalcy. No wings, no threats, no drama. Just me and my guys.

“I’ve been thinking,” Sterling says, ignoring my petulance. “You have Kai’s supernatural abilities and Cade’s magic. What if the wings are part of my shifting ability?”

I blink. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“Maybe I can help walk you through shifting to make them go away.” His thumb rubs my cheek and I lean into the gesture. I’ll never get sick of his affection after going so long without it.

“Okay, let’s try it.” I nod and take a deep breath as he walks around behind me. I try to not get my hopes up. I know if I do and this fails—which it’s likely to—I’ll just be even more overwhelmed and ready to give up.

“Close your eyes and try to empty your mind.” His voice is gentle and soothing, and I let it flow over me. His presence behind me, safety and comfort, eases the tension in my muscles. The heat from his body soaks into my back, and I have to refrain from leaning against him. “Remember what it’s like to not have wings.” His finger trails between my shoulder blades, right where the wings sprout from my spine. It’s hard to imagine that when little shivers overcome me at his touch. It’s so sensitive. “Remember what it’s like to lay in bed on your back with nothing in the way. Remember being able to turn around without knocking something over.” There is definitely laughter hidden in his voice, and I’m tempted to turn around just to knock him over. “Now feel your wings. Feel their presence behind you.” This time his finger brushes through the downy soft feathers near my spine, and I can’t control the flutter in my stomach. I need to get laid so badly. “Now, imagine shedding them like a second skin. Picture them falling away.”

In my mind, I see my wings shivering, the feathers fluttering wildly. Then, as if a blanket covers them, they disappear. Hands run down my back. My back devoid of wings.

My eyes snap open. “Did it work?” I’m barely breathing, scared it’s just my imagination making me think the wings are gone.

In response, Sterling wraps his arms around me from behind and presses a kiss to my mating mark. “It did. Good job, kitten.” Pride rings in his voice, and I arch my back against him at the praise.

“Thank you!” I squeal and turn around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” My words are muffled, buried in his naked chest. Always freaking naked.

Kai grunts, and I turn around to see him push off the wall. “I think I miss them already,” he says.

“Well, too bad. I need a break.” I shimmy and twist, enjoying the freedom of no wings dragging behind me.

“I think to get them back, you’d just repeat that process. That’s what I do with my wolf, at least.”

“I’ll try that later. Much later.” I don’t plan on bringing those babies back out for a while. I glance at Cade. He’s been quiet through this entire thing, and now he’s watching me with a furrowed brow. “What’s wrong?” I ask, stepping up to him.

He frames my face in his hands, brushing back loose curls. “I know there is so much we need to do, and so much we have to worry about, but I think we need to take a step back and just do something fun.”

I can’t help the little spark that lights up inside me. “Really?”

“I’m worried about you. You’ve been through so much, Ellis, and you haven’t had a chance to just … live. Between Sam, and finding out you’re a harpy, and Sterling’s capture. It’s a lot for one person to deal with.” His hands travel down to squeeze my upper arms. “There’s so much pressure and stress on you. So much on your mind. We need to remember we can’t keep pushing you harder and harder without giving you some time to decompress.”

I know Cade isn’t an empath, but sometimes I swear he reads me better than Kai does. And even though his words are true and I desperately need some time to unwind, I hesitate. What about my sister? What about Sam and his experiments? What about Cade’s and Sterling’s families? We can’t afford to take a break right now. Can we?

“I think that’s a great idea,” Kai says, stepping up next to Cade. “What about you Sterling?”

I glance behind me and find Sterling looking at me, indecision in his gaze. Of the three of them, he’s the most serious. The one who would say we have to stay focused. Besides me, he’s the only one who has experienced Sam first hand. He’s the one who saw my sister get tortured.