Page 6 of These Wicked Desires

Two pinpricks pierce my flesh, and the pleasure that tears through me makes me scream. My body moves on its own, my hips searching for that last bit of friction. When Sterling’s fingers rub against my clit, my vision fractures. The orgasm crashes through me so hard I black out. Sterling curses as he slams his dick as deep into my throat as possible, and I swallow his release by reflex alone. My inner walls fluttering and clenching set Cade and Kai off. They both stiffen and the chorus of their moans mix together as they come.

When it’s all over, I can barely breathe, let alone move. Each guy slowly pulls out and my body jerks, nerve endings sensitive and overworked. I keep my eyes closed as they clean me up and settle around me. I know Sterling is in front of me, his scent is the closest. I rest my head on his shoulder as Kai’s cool arm wraps around my middle. Somehow, I know Cade is tucked behind Kai without opening my eyes. It’s like now that we’ve all been together, my bonds with them have sharpened.

I can sense each one of them separately deep in my chest. I’ve never felt so whole in my life. With that feeling sinking deep into me, I fall asleep, safe in my Shield’s arms.

Ellis

I wish I could repeat that night over and over again. Everything about it was perfect. Being able to finally be with all three of my guys was beyond my wildest dreams. I know we have so much to deal with, but I can’t wait for it to all be over so we can repeat everything that happened last night.

Unfortunately, the next day the guys return to battle mode. I’ve spent the past two days manifesting my wings and making them disappear. Sterling wants me to be able to do it in the blink of an eye. Right now, it takes me about five seconds of closing my eyes and imaging it in my mind. It’s mentally exhausting, and by the end of each practice session, my brain is mush.

“Can we take a break?” I ask, shoulders sagging. Sweat coats my skin, and my tank top clings to me uncomfortably. When Sterling nods, I heave a sigh of relief.

“You’re doing better,” he says, unsticking a curl from my neck. “You just have to keep practicing. And once you have it down, I want you to practice shifting while fighting or under high stress situations.”

I stare at him and blink. Just thinking about that makes me want to cry. I’ve never been so exhausted in my life. Even with the boxing Allie and I used to do, I never experienced this bone deep weariness. It goes further than just muscle. My brain is just as worn out.

He wraps me in his arms, and I let myself collapse against him, not even caring about my sweatiness. “I’m proud of you, by the way,” he murmurs.

When was the last time someone said they were proud of me? His words make my throat burn with unshed tears. “Not a lot to be proud of,” I mumble.

He scoffs. “Seriously? You know pups take forever to get the shifting thing down. Many of them end up stuck in their wolf form for months at a time until they can shift back. You learned really quickly. Granted, you're not a full shifter, but that's impressive nonetheless.”

He kisses the top of my head and I melt a little bit inside. “Sterling?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think it would be easier to deal with Sam if Noah was out of the picture?”

He stiffens but doesn’t pull away. “Why do you ask?”

“If Sam knows we’re coming back for Gracie, don’t you think he’ll be prepared by getting Noah involved? If we have to go against Sam and Noah at the same time …” I leave the rest unsaid. He’ll understand the threat that presents.

Sterling sighs and rubs my back. “It’s a possibility. But …”

“But you don’t know if you want to challenge him?” I pull away enough to glance at him. His blue eyes are shadowed and he won’t quite meet my gaze. “Sterling.”

He drops his arms and I immediately miss his closeness. “I do,” he says quietly. “I want to take my place as alpha. I want to save my family. But I can’t.” His stubble scratches as he rubs a hand down his face.

“Why not? We’ve accepted the bond, so that’s not an issue anymore. I know Cade and Kai would be okay with it. All any of us want is for you to be happy. So why can’t you?”

He turns away, and I know I shouldn’t push him. Cade’s words come back to me, that Sterling tends to handle his personal stuff alone, but I won’t let him do that. Not now that we’re mates. If he doesn’t take his place as alpha, there will always be a part of him that will regret it. And I don’t want that to happen.

I grab his hand and force him to stop. “Sterling, talk to me. Please.”

His shoulders sag and when I walk around to face him, his eyes are squeezed shut. “I can’t become alpha without my brother. As soon as Cole was born, my wolf knew he was going to be my beta. There is no one else I’d want at my side helping me lead the pack. Without him, I can’t do it.”

Oh. I bite my lip, hesitating. This is a delicate situation, and I don’t want to do or say anything to upset Sterling. “Have you tried to talk to him?” I ask quietly, gently squeezing his hand.

“No.” His silver hair glints in the setting sun as he shakes his head. “And he won’t talk to me even if I tried.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Ellis, but it’s just not going to happen.” The defeated tone of his voice cracks me open. I open my mouth to argue but he cuts me off. “I’m going to go for a run. It’s been awhile and my wolf is getting antsy.”

I step back, letting my hand drop to my side. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me, kitten.” He cups my cheek and leans in for a quick kiss. “It’s just a lot to think about.” He scans my face and must see something he doesn’t like, because he pulls me in for a hug. “Hey, I mean it. You did nothing wrong. Now, I’m going to let my wolf out for a bit. Cade and Kai are in town still, but should be back soon. I’ll be on the mountain, and the wards will keep you safe. Is that okay?”