Page 9 of These Wicked Desires

“Here’s the deal,” I begin, clasping my hands in my lap to hide their shaking. “I want to tell you to take the fucking stick out of your ass and talk to your brother, but I know better than to do that.” Indeed, he’s already stiffening, gaze shuttering as he prepares to stand and walk away. “Instead, since neither you nor Sterling will put on your big girl panties, I’m going to tell you my story in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, it will make you realize your brother is not the enemy.”

He snorts, but he relaxes in the chair. I almost wished he would have gotten up and left. Then I wouldn’t have had to do this. I wouldn’t have had to open myself up and tell these people about my life and the horrors I’ve endured. I swallow down my fear and push forward.

“When I was sixteen, my entire life came to an end. My mom and sister were murdered in my home. I hid, and somehow survived, only to find out years later it was Sterling who kept me safe that night. He was there with Noah Martin to carry out Noah’s orders to kill me, my mom, and sister. But Sterling smelled me as soon as he walked into the house and knew I was his mate.”

Shari gasps, but I ignore her. I can’t look at her reaction. I can’t see her sympathy or sadness. It will crumple me.

“I was raised by Thomas Kennedy and when I turned twenty-three, I started dating Sam Morris, a prominent mage in Thomas’s company.” My throat tries to close so I swallow and shut my eyes so I don’t have to see anyone while I admit this darkest secret of mine. “After two years with Sam, I found out he was only dating me to get into Thomas’s good graces. When I tried to leave, he turned into a monster. I spent the next two years being raped and beaten by the man I was supposed to marry.”

The room is so quiet I can hear my heart pounding in my chest. The couch dips slightly, like Shari wants to reach out to me, but she doesn’t. And I’m glad. I can’t handle anyone’s touch while I tell this story.

“Thomas creating the contest was the best thing that ever happened to me. Malakai, Cade, and Sterling saved me from a fate I can’t even contemplate.” I open my eyes and my gaze lands on Cole. His expression is unreadable as he studies me. “There is a lot that has happened since then, but the part I want you to know about is Sterling’s role in my story.”

I take a deep breath and relax. This is easier. Talking about my mate, even though it started out rough, is as easy as breathing. “Sterling knew if he took me the night my mom and sister were killed, I’d never forgive him. So he left me. He kept an eye on me, making sure I was safe, but he knew if he ever told anyone he had a mate, Noah would have me killed. There was no way he’d let me live after having escaped him once, and the added threat I would create to his rule.”

From the corner of my eye I see Shari nod, and I know Cole understands as well.

“He had to decide between his family and his mate, and it tore him apart. If he tried to fight Noah, if he tried to reclaim his title, Noah would have killed you. So Sterling gave all of it up. He lived all of those years without his family and without his mate.”

Cole’s jaw tenses and he looks down to his lap.

“When he joined Kai during the contest, he didn’t tell me I was his mate. He fought the connection we both felt until Thomas blew his cover. Thomas found out Sterling had been there the night my mom and sister were killed, and Sterling finally came clean.”

Shari sighs and shakes her head. I swear I hear her mutter something about idiotic boys.

“It hurt a lot to find out he’d lied to me and kept that secret from me. I didn’t make it easy on him to get back in my good graces. In fact, when we visited you guys the night I first met you, I hadn’t accepted the bond yet. It wasn’t until recently, thanks to something you said, Shari, that I realized it didn’t matter what happened in the past. All that mattered was that I accept the bond. So I did.” I meet Shari’s gaze and see unwavering love and acceptance in her eyes. It hits me right in the chest, to know this woman has already decided to welcome me in with open arms.

My phone vibrates on the coffee table and my stomach clenches. I check the screen and see Kai’s name. Shit.

I swallow thickly and continue. “I wanted you to know that Sterling’s choices were not made lightly. He struggled a lot. He had a lot of decisions to make, and he did the best he could. Now, we have more on our plate than you could ever imagine. My ex has been hunting me. He has a warehouse where he’s been experimenting on magicals and non-magicals alike. He wants me for … well, he wants me. And all this time, I thought my sister had been murdered but he has her. She’s alive, and she needs us to rescue her.” My voice breaks. Gracie. I can’t imagine what she’s been through. “And to top it all off, I found out Thomas isn’t my dad. Noah is.” I huff a humorless laugh. “Gods. Saying it all out loud sounds insane.”

Cole rears back, gaze snapping to mine.

“Yeah. He tried to have me killed. Father of the year right there. Right along with Thomas Kennedy.” I snort, but there is no humor to it. “Sterling wants to be alpha. He wants to challenge Noah, but there is so much on our plate and he’s scared. He needs you, Cole. He needs your approval and support. He needs his family behind him.”

My phone buzzes again, this time Cade’s picture pops up. Fuck. I’m going to be in so much trouble.

I clench my phone and prepare to stand. “All I want you to do is talk to him. Hear him out. Listen to his side of the story. Then you can make up your mind as to whether you still blame him for everything.” A text comes through, followed quickly by three more. “I really have to go, but we’re staying at the cabin if you want to talk to Sterling. And I really hope you do.”

I stand from the couch as my phone rings once more. Kai again. Shari jumps up and stops me.

“Ellis.” She pulls me in for a hug, and I have to hold back the tears. “I am so sorry for everything. But I’m happy you found your mate.” She lowers her voice and whispers in my ear. “I hope your story convinces Cole to talk to Sterling. They need each other.”

I nod in agreement. “They really do.” Another string of texts come through. “I really have to go. I’m going to be in big trouble for doing this.”

She walks me to the door and hugs me one last time. “Tell Sterling I love him.”

I nod and walk toward the car. Drew flies down and shifts, quickly slipping into his pants before getting behind the wheel.

“How’d it go?” he asks as he turns the car on.

I hold up my phone, buzzing again. “They’re looking for me.”

Ellis

“Why don’t you answer it and let them know you’re okay?” Drew asks after my phone buzzes for a solid five minutes.

“Because they’ll just yell at me. Then yell at me again when we get back.” I shrug. “I might as well wait so I just get yelled at once.”