Page 55 of Serenity
“I don’t know,” she blushed. Such a sighting had become more frequent in our time together, further heightening my satisfaction. “Maybe a private party at Sin. Something grown and sexy.”
“What else do you want?”
Palms up, she shook her pretty ass head. “Don’t even think about it, Duke. You’ve done enough.”
“Don’t tell me what to do with my paper, woman. My money’s longer than this dick you like to slide up and down on. I’ll do as much as I see fit.”
“I do like sliding and gliding on him.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“My period just started.”
“That shit don’t stop nothing but a sentence.”
“You nasty.”
“I know,” I returned with a smirk and a wink.
“So… The big three, oh. What’s your aspiration for life? What is it that you want? That woman’s clock hasn’t got your pretty feet jogging toward some greater goal?”
Yeah, we’d decided on exclusivity, but beyond expanding her business, she hadn’t shared with me her ultimate dreams. I was curious.
“Greater goal? Is my spa expansion not enough?” She tsked. “Are you referring to the biological clock?”
I nodded.
“I don’t think I ever obtained one of those.”
“What does that mean?”
“I just don’t see the rush or allure of marriage.”
Forking my lasagna, I schooled some into my mouth. News to my ears, I welcomed the novel information about my lover. I had no desire to rush back into a fucking marriage and was slightly relieved we were on the same page. At the very least, Serenity wouldn’t be pressuring me towards it.
“You said that you wouldn’t get me pregnant this morning. What does that mean?”
“I wasn’t speaking in code.”
“I know, but explain and stop being cagey. Are you… sterile?”
Raising the glass of Lambrusco to my lips, I savored the taste before speaking.
“I’m not sterile. I had a vasectomy once I realized I didn’t want to procreate with my wife. Ex-wife,” I corrected.
“What made you come to that conclusion?”
“Before I caught her cheating, she’d shown me signs of shit I didn’t connect with being motherly. I stopped liking her as a person.”
A weight lifted, freeing me from the heaviness that was the guilt of a secret I’d been keeping. Far from my intention, the conversation just never surfaced before tonight. Beginning a new relationship with lies was far from my desires. I was glad to have that shit out and in the open between us.
Still unsettled, I feared how she might accept my truth. Serenity was young, ambitious, successful, and beautiful. It wasn’t off-kilter for her to want the fairytale of a husband and kids. She said she didn’t want marriage, but she was still young. Her heart might change, while mine could very well remain the same. She deserved to have the option available to her. In another life, I’d met her before Mya. In another life, we had a marriage and a baby carriage.
“Oh.”
The simple response to my vasectomy held a myriad of undertones. Paired with the scrutiny of her body language, it said more than words ever could. She shifted. Pulled a chunk of hair behind her ear. The fidgety tell was always her signal of discomfort.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.