Page 10 of Grumpy Orc Daddy
Well, that was easy enough.
“So, what are your hours like at work?” I probe.
“Well, an ever-changing mix of late nights and early mornings accompanied with business trips. It’s going to take some time to adjust scheduling and switch things around.
I nod, turning things over in my head. I’ll admit the idea of him leaving on business trips is a little intimidating now that we’re going to be a team.
“I just ask for your patience.” His tone is gentle, but his presence is commanding, making his plea more of a demand. I nod in return however, understanding his need for my patience. My first few moments with Lily would have gone a lot smoother if I’d had some to show me the very patience he requires.
We agree to start with him visiting periodically, and then one day of the weekend while he adjusts his work hours.
I’m trying real hard to be team ‘Janta is doomed to fail.’ But I can’t help but internally applaud him for already acknowledging the fact that his devotion to work is going to have to change.
It’s good to know that despite our rough start, we seem intent on cooperating 100% as co-parents for Lily.
As the conversation continues to wind down, I excuse myself to the restroom. I need to get away with my thoughts for a moment. I focus on assessing the productive parts of our discussion. Janta seems willing to help financially, which is a relief.
Yet internally, doubts continue gnawing at me. I’ve always solely depended on myself as Lily's parent. Now I’m expected to rely on Janta, too, but can I trust that his commitment will last?
I fear the disruption it would cause Lily if Janta were to withdraw support entirely once the newness of fatherhood fades.
When I return, I’m still lost in my thoughts. “If there isn’t anything else you can think of, I think we’ve got a good start here,” I say passively, hoping he doesn’t sense the unease in my tone.
He rises from the table. “Sure. Thank you… for being so open to this,” he says, his face showcasing how physically painful it must be for him to offer pleasantries to others.
“Of course. Lily deserves the best,” I say with a tight smile.
He pulls a business card from the inside of his jacket. "This is for my accountant. Have them set up a monthly transfer for support.”
I hesitate, caught off guard.
As if reading my uncertainty, Janta speaks with a commanding certainty. "I know you've managed alone so far, but it's not just you who has to provide anymore."
I take a deep breath. "Alright, thank you. I appreciate your commitment to ensure she wants for nothing."
Janta nods. I walk with him to the door. “We will figure it out,” I say sincerely.
He releases a pent-up breath. “Yeah, we have no choice.”
CHAPTER 6
Janta
Being at Rayna’s house is incredibly intimidating. At first, I sit back and watch the effortless way she takes care of Lily. It was almost as if I'm showing up for a big interview. A big interview for a job that I’m slowly realizing I have absolutely no qualifications for..
It just seems to come so naturally for Rayna, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t bother me a bit. I don’t like feeling incompetent, as if I’m underperforming.
I’ve fought tooth and nail and studied my ass off to get where I am today. But there’s no training manual dedicated to how to be a father but it sure as hell would be helpful if there were.
As I walk through the door of Rayna's small, warmly lit living room, a flurry of emotions overtakes me. It's like stepping into a whole different world—one where I'm not just Janta, the rough around the edges executive, but a dad, a role I'm still trying to wrap my head around.
Rayna's house is like a place of relentless learning and subtle discoveries. Each visit peels back a layer of the parenting mystery, revealing complexities I had never expected.
The weight of my inexperience presses down on me, filling me with anxiety. What if I don't get this right? What if I fail Lily?
Yet, alongside this fear, there's a budding excitement—an eagerness to embrace whatever comes my way.
Watching Rayna with Lily, with her effortless grace and intuitive understanding, both intimidates and inspires me. There's a rhythm to her routine, a melody to the way she speaks, soothes, and smiles that I find mesmerizing.