Page 12 of Grumpy Orc Daddy
As I sit here now, in the quiet hum of the living room, watching her gently rock Lily to sleep, I realize these moments are precious. They are the building blocks of a relationship not just with my daughter but with Rayna as well, as we navigate this co-parenting journey.
With each visit, the mix of anxiety and anticipation gives way to a deeper commitment—a resolve to keep showing up, to keep learning, and to be a part of Lily's life in every way I can.
As I become more involved in Lily's life and witness Rayna's parenting firsthand, I’ve started to see her not just as a mother, but as a formidable individual in her own right.
I adjust my own priorities, my work schedule, even my long-term plans, to ensure I am contributing positively to the family dynamic we were building.
This newfound respect also changes how I approach our discussions. I try to listen more, not just to respond, but to understand. She handles my frustrations and outbursts with ease, despite the abrasives of my nature.
I seek her advice, value her opinions, and make sure she knows her efforts are not going unnoticed.
Seeing her strength and dedication inspires me to match that commitment, ensuring that Lily feels as loved and cared for as possible. Rayna's resilience, her ability to handle every challenge with a poised determination, is not something I’ve only come to admire but also aspire to emulate. Through this journey, our relationship, built on the foundation of parenting, is blossoming into a partnership.
CHAPTER 7
Rayna
Call me crazy, but it’s been rather nice having Janta around to lighten the load of my day to day.. Lily adores him. Granted, it took her a bit, but his demeanor doesn’t exactly scream “overly affectionate, likeable person.”
It was a sight the first time I saw big muscled Janta, in a business suit, holding a tiny little Lily, wrapped in a pink blanket, asleep on his chest. The sight itself did something to me, but we’re going to chalk it up to me being overwhelmed at the emotion of the cuteness of the whole thing.
Change is a peculiar thing. It sneaks up on you quietly, almost imperceptibly, until one day, you realize your entire routine has shifted to accommodate someone new. That's how it's been with Janta.
I remember a time when his presence in the house felt like an intrusion, a disruption to the orchestrated rhythm of my life with Lily. But now, it's almost as if the walls themselves have expanded to welcome him.
In the mornings, he usually lets himself in, allowing me a few extra moments of sleep. I saunter to the kitchen, wiping the sleep from my eyes, and find Janta already in the kitchen, his large hands awkwardly handling the tiny spoons and bowls as he attempts to prepare Lily's breakfast.
The first few times, he was all thumbs, spilling milk and scattering cereal like a child left alone in the kitchen for the first time. But now, there's a smoothness to his movements, a confidence that wasn't there before. It's in these small, everyday moments that I've seen the changes not just in him, but in me.
I watch from the doorway, unnoticed, as he chats with Lily, telling her about his day ahead, even though she's too young to understand. His voice, once so stern and businesslike during our initial encounters, now holds a softness when he speaks to her. It's as if Lily has unraveled a part of him that was tightly wound, hidden beneath layers of corporate armor.
Sharing responsibilities with Janta has lightened my load, yes, but it has also filled a gap I hadn't realized was there. In the evenings, when he reads to Lily before bed, his voice a soothing baritone that dances gently around the nursery, I linger in the doorway longer, watching them. The sight of Lily's tiny hand clutching his finger—it tugs at something deep within me.
Perhaps it's the realization that Lily needs him as much as she needs me, or the acknowledgment that I do, too. This partnership in parenthood, once so daunting, now feels like a shared journey. We are two people, learning from each other, growing together, and somehow finding a rhythm that works for us all.
“Good morning, cutie!” I say in Lily’s direction as I approach her to steal a kiss from her fat little cheeks.
“Good morning to you too,” Janta replies gruffly with what I know now is his attempt at a smile.
I choke on the large swallow of orange juice I just consumed. Which leads me to spitting and sputtering out orange liquid all over the kitchen. Which Lily finds hilarious, I might add.
Janta jumps up and starts beating on my back. “Rayna, are you okay? Are you choking?”
I shake my head no and wave my hand in the air. I’m trying to signal that I’m fine, but I don’t trust my ability to talk at the moment.
I finally get my composure, and wipe at my face covered in wet tears from my near death experience and orange juice from the geyser that was me.
“What was that about?” Janta asks. Did you not expect the pulp?”
I can’t help but laugh. “No, the fact that you cracked a joke caught me so off guard I swallowed my own tongue.”
He looks at me, confused. “You choked because you found it so bizarre that I made a joke?”
“Absolutely. You don’t strike me as the class clown type.”
He eyes me curiously. “What do I strike you as?”
Somehow I feel like this is a trick question. But that doesn’t stop me from telling him the truth.