Page 15 of Renegade Queen
“Feeling better now you’ve had time in the cathedral?”
I hummed that sound of the unconvinced as I tried to decide how much to tell him.
“I had a visitor,” I ended up saying.
“Makes sense. I saw the way the blond was staring at you; he wants to get in your pants to convince you to do what they need.”
He was going for casual, and it surprised me that instead of sounding annoyed, he was actually trying to hold back the laughter instead.
“Oh, it wasn’t him.” He raised his eyebrow at me in question, and I continued. “It was the grumpy one, Dean.”
“Huh, he would have been my last guess… so when are we heading out tomorrow?”
“What do you mean?”
The temptation to cuddle into Tank while we talked in bed was high, but this wasn’t a place our relationship had gone yet, which felt a little strange. So instead, I pulled my knees up and settled back against the headboard.
“You know what I mean, Alyssa. It’s time to go back; you know it, and so do I. This has been a long time coming, and those three idiots were the excuse you’d been looking for.”
“And what do you know about it?” I asked. It probably sounded pissy, but Tank knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t.
I’d never talked to him about my first life. That was how I preferred to think about it; it was the only way to stay sane. Thinking about that time and the things that had happened made me want to scream, and I couldn’t give in right now. Because once I started to let those memories back in, I didn’t think I’d be able to stop them.
“I know you came here because you had to. And I know you well enough to know that whatever you were running from, you need to go back and face it. And I also know you’re not the type of person who would turn your back on those guys out there. You never turn your back on anyone who needs you, Alyssa. How else do you think you managed to build this place up with us outcasts and misfits circling around you?”
He reached for me then and pulled me into his arms. Any doubts I had about cuddling him were instantly erased because being in Tank’s arms felt so right.
“I don’t know if I can do it. It’s probably too late, anyway. For everyone.”
He knew I wasn’t just talking about the guys’ missing brother. But he didn’t push me for more information. Instead, he just held me and finally, let me know I wasn’t alone anymore.
“Maybe. But you’ll always be the type of person who will try. Now, sleep. We have a lot to do and talk about, but we don’t need to do it tonight. Rest, Alyssa. I’ve got you.”
It was possibly the first time in my life that I’d ever heard those words. And for the first time ever, I closed my eyes and slept a dreamless sleep, knowing that Tank would never let anything happen to me.
The next morning was only as awkward as you made it. So obviously, that meant I made it as awkward as possible. Intentionally? Who knew?
As I walked out of the guest room, Tank kept close to my back like he was trying to make some kind of point. I was aware of the three sets of eyes following me as I made my way across the room. They tracked my movement, not saying a word and instead waiting to see what would happen next.
I couldn’t blame them; they had a lot riding on this. The life of a brother was something most people would pay dearly for. I knew I would have if I’d been given a choice.
Moving over to the kitchen, I opened the fridge and reached inside for a beer. Coming to a sudden stop had been a mistake, as Tank nearly crashed into me.
“You’re gonna have to learn to ease up a bit there, big boy.” I laughed as I turned around to find a sheepish-looking bear shifter standing close behind. “No one is going to kidnap me or anything.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, he stepped away, the red flush to his cheeks the cutest thing I’d seen all year. Seeing this massive man embarrassed was honestly going to be one of my favourite hobbies from now on.
Twisting the top off the beer, I threw the cap into the sink before taking a long swig. It probably wasn’t the healthiest of breakfasts, but the alcohol in the human realm was nowhere near strong enough to get me drunk, and to be honest, I just enjoyed the taste of it.
I cast my eyes around the room at the three men waiting for the verdict of what would happen today. Tank had been right last night; there was no way I would leave them alone in this. Returning to Nymeria was probably going to be the biggest mistake I’d made in my life. Still, it had to happen sooner or later. If I was going to get myself killed, it might as well be for a good cause.
Dean proved to be the most interesting to watch. He full on looked like he was chewing on a bee while sniffing a fart. Honestly, I was flattered he was at least trying to hold it back. But the longer I watched him, the harder it seemed to get. Until inevitably, he couldn’t stop himself any longer.
“You’re not going alone,” he demanded, surging to his feet with his fists clenched at his side. “I won’t let you throw your life away for us.”
“Of course, I’m not going alone. Tank’s coming with me.”
It wasn’t the answer he’d been looking for, and from the look on his friend’s faces, it wasn’t one they were happy with either.