Page 18 of Renegade Queen

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Alyssa had been antsy all day. She was currently banging around the office in the garage, and it was making me jumpy watching her get more and more wound up waiting for the Wild Dogs to turn up.

My bear strained against my mind, trying to break free. He wanted to tear apart the world to keep Alyssa safe, and the more time that passed, the more I started to agree with him.

I always knew there’d come a day when Alyssa would need to return to Nymeria, and of course, I’d always planned to go with her. Except now that the time was here, I was spinning out of control, worrying about it.

Alyssa had never told me her story, and I’d never pushed her for it. I could tell it was bad from the look in her eyes when she didn’t think anyone was watching. It was the thing that drove her to the cathedral most nights. Bathing in the moonlight helped keep her magic strong, but I knew she went there for more than that. She went because it was the only way she could feel close to the people she’d lost. They were the ghosts that haunted her at night and why she never slept.

It killed me that I couldn’t do anything to protect her from that.

I heard the rumble of motorcycle engines long before they turned up at the garage. Arlow’s MC wasn’t one I liked to deal with. His mix of members had always put me on edge. I didn’t see how they worked together as a group, but now I thought deep down that it was my nerves about what Alyssa would say when she found out how I felt about her. I saw how the shifters in the MC and the fae clashed. They were a unit but you could see the tension. The way that Arlow managed to hold them together was nothing short of a miracle.

I’d watched Alyssa from the other side of the garage for ten years, wishing she was in my arms. The fact that she’d never been with another man during that time always gave me hope. That maybe she felt the same way about me. But we’d become stuck in this loop of waiting for the other to make the first move and being terrified of what would happen if the other said no. I didn’t think I’d be able to survive without her in my life. After a while, watching her from afar became easier than risking losing her completely.

And now here we were, standing on the precipice of going to Nymeria and risking everything to try and save some human, and all I could think about was how stupid I’d been to have lost all this time with her.

Arlow was the first to stride through the garage door, looking like he’d won the fucking lottery from the smirk on his face. He was going to hold this over her; I knew he was. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he’d gotten where he was because he kept a tally of favours owed and always called them in.

“Aaaa-lyssa! Looking as beautiful as ever.”

God, I wanted to punch him in the fucking face for just looking at her, and my bear growled in agreement.

That itch beneath my skin intensified as my bear tried to force the shift, and I felt my muscles contract as my body begged to give way to the beast inside. Clenching my fists, I tried to concentrate on the bite of my nails digging into the palms of my hand. I couldn’t lose control now. I wouldn’t be a liability for her, so I needed to calm the bear. Alyssa didn’t know I was on the verge of being shunned by my sleuth; truthfully, they were grateful when I decided to stay behind.

A berserker couldn’t be trusted.

I couldn’t be trusted.

And yet, even though I knew I was a liability, I couldn’t walk away from her.

“Arlow. I think I’m supposed to say it’s good to see you when I’m about to ask you for a favour, right?”

“Nah. When were we ever ones to hold up traditions?”

He strode over to the fridge, opened it up and pulled out a beer before leaning back against the counter and twisting off the cap.

He stared at her like he was weighing her worth, and Alyssa let him like she didn’t care. Or, perhaps she already knew she was worth more than any of us here.

“Finn’s put out the word that you’ve not been behaving yourself,” he eventually said, taking a long drink. “He thinks you’re getting a bit too full of yourself.”

“We both know Finn is one bad decision away from his guys taking him out.” Alyssa shrugged, heading over to the sofa and sitting down like they were having a pleasant conversation. “It might be time to decide what side of that bad decision you want to stand on,” she added casually.

Arlow laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d heard all week.

“Drama, drama, drama.” He walked over to the table where we all usually ate and pulled out a chair, sitting before throwing his feet up on the surface. “You know I’ll always be on your side, Alyssa. Finn is an overinflated prick, and I, for one, can’t wait for the day when his shrivelled-up junk finally explodes.”

“Graphic,” I mumbled, not wanting that image in my head, but at least grateful he seemed to be on our side.

“So, what do you need, Alyssa? If it’s taking out Finn, I’m gonna need a whole hell of a lot of incentive.” He waggled his eyebrows at the implication.

And now I wanted to kill him again.

Of course, that was the moment the three knuckleheads decided to come down the apartment stairs. Arlow immediately straightened, no doubt not liking that there were humans amongst us and no one had given him the decency of a warning. The three of them strolled down the steps like they weren’t walking into the lion’s den, quite literally. Interestingly, they moved over to Alyssa and stood protectively around her. It screamed, ‘You go through me,’ and I didn’t know if it was from sheer stupidity or actual bravery.

It was impressive either way.

“I need you to turn them,” Alyssa said, getting straight to the point.