Page 24 of Renegade Queen

“You two look comfortable,” she told me, slowly stepping into the room and closing the door behind her.

As she leaned back against the closed door, Ryder moved on the bed, and it was like I saw us from an outside perspective.

We’d always been close; there was a reason why I called him my brother. But this? This was a bit beyond the closeness we’d shared before.

I looked down at him in confusion, “You’re snuggling me,” I pointed out gruffly.

“You needed it,” he told me before yawning, sitting up and climbing off the bed.

As Ryder stretched beside the bed, my eyes found the sliver of skin on his stomach as his shirt rode up, and I watched it in fascination. He was built just like the rest of us; years in the military had given us bodies that showed how much hard work we put into them. It was the difference between being dead and staying alive in many of the situations we found ourselves in.

But for some reason, this time, it was different. I watched the muscles contract on Ryder’s stomach and licked my lips before rearing back in surprise.

What. The. Fuck. Was. Happening?

“Soooo, Tank asked me to come in and talk to you both,” Alyssa said, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked at her in panic. I needed an explanation about what was happening to me, and I needed it right fucking now.

“You smell nice,” Ryder purred, stepping closer to Alyssa before stopping with a frown on his face.

Alyssa just laughed. “Thanks. I guess you two might have some questions, and I’m going to try and help as much as I can,” she said, keeping the conversation on track.

“Why do I feel…” Ryder’s question trailed off, and the guilt from hearing the worry in his voice hit me hard. Because all this time, I’d been sitting here thinking about myself, and not once had I wondered if he was going through the same thing.

“Well, that’s definitely the question of the hour. Do you mind if I sit?” Alyssa asked, pointing to the edge of the bed.

Something inside me surged at the thought of her joining me on the bed, and my hands fisted in the covers as I tried to hold it back. This wasn’t right. I didn’t pull things close to me like I wanted to do now. I was always the guy that pushed people firmly away. I didn’t deserve the comfort of having people close to me. My brothers were the only ones who never let me do that. They were so used to all my bullshit that it rolled off them now. They’d never let me pull that crap with them. Not even when we were kids.

“You can feel the animal waking inside you,” Alyssa told us. It wasn’t a question. She didn’t even know us, and she could see the difference. “It’s early. Tank says he’s never heard of it happening like this before.”

I nodded, not quite sure what to say.

“That means it worked, though, right?” Ryder asked nervously. “We’re going to look for Damon?”

“Yeah, it worked. But it might cause a problem with going to look for Damon.”

I sat up straighter, and I saw the sympathy on Alyssa’s face. I couldn’t let whatever this was stop, me from looking for Damon. I wouldn’t give up now.

“Tank thinks that you might be an alpha wolf, Dean,” Alyssa explained. “It’s going to make it difficult for you to be around Tank and probably Maddox, too, once his lion comes to the surface.”

“Lion! Trust Maddox to get a fucking lion. Wait! What about me? What did I get?” Ryder asked excitedly, not quite grasping what Alyssa was saying or just being his usual distracted self.

“Wolf, the same as Dean. It’s why you feel that easy bond between the two of you,” Alyssa explained.

“I’m not staying behind.” I wasn’t going to take no on this. There was no way in hell I was going to lose any more brothers to whatever this place was. If anyone was going to risk it all to get Damon back, it would be me. If one of us had to die, I was the best choice; I’d been living on borrowed time anyway. Time Damon had bought for me that night, they took me in.

“If you can’t control the wolf around the others, there might not be any other option. I’m not leaving Tank behind. I can’t do this alone with three untrained shifters.”

My teeth gritted as I tried to figure out how we’d get around this. Tank and I needed to be able to make nice, was what she was saying.

I could be nice. Probably.

Fucking hell, if I couldn’t even convince myself, there was no way the others would agree.

“Soooo, let’s see if D can play nice with Tank,” Ryder decided. Then he looked around like he’d only just realised where he was. “Ermmm, where exactly are we?”

“RV. Alaska. Nearly at the portal.” She looked at me then, and I could see the doubt in her eyes. “You saw how easily Tank lost control of his bear before, and he’s been a shifter all his life. If you challenge him, it’s unlikely he will stand down. So you need to be the one that can control the animal inside… Because, to be clear, he can’t do it. I’ve known the guy for a decade. Do you know how many times I’ve had to replace the desk in my office? You should see what happens when I’m not there, and he has to deal with an invoice; he’s all like ‘grrrr bear no do math’ and then smash, I’m saying goodbye to my office furniture.”