Page 26 of Renegade Queen
We’d taken the RV as far as we could, and then it had been a two-hour hike across the Alaskan terrain to reach this point. We were lucky we weren’t doing this in the winter. At least we only had the pine trees to deal with at this time of year.
“Why do I have to wear this again?” Maddox grumbled, stepping beside me and fidgeting with his leather trousers like he was trying to pull a wedgie out of his ass.
“Because we’re not supposed to be drawing attention to ourselves. This is going to be a quick in and out. The least amount of trouble you make while we’re in there, that impossible chance of staying alive morphs into the slimmest of possibilities.” I raised an eyebrow as I stared him down, and he at least seemed to look like it was starting to sink in, no matter how much he disliked it.
“Well, I like them,” Ryder declared, strutting over to us before doing a quick twirl. “Because my ass looks fabulous in these. You can look; I know you want to.” He sent me a saucy wink, and I just shook my head at his antics.
It was pretty evident that Ryder was the joker of the group, but I could already tell from the few hours they’d been conscious around me that they needed it. Dean was so tightly wound, he needed someone to balance him out. But I’d bet anything that when Ryder started messing around, he rubbed Dean’s gruff exterior the wrong way.
It made me wonder what Damon was like. These three were willing to risk their lives to try and save him, even though everyone was telling them that he was most likely dead. They didn’t even seem capable of accepting that he was gone without seeing it with their own eyes.
I’d never had that, and I hated that when I’d had the chance, I’d never stepped up that way. Instead, I’d run for my life and could never bring myself to look back.
I was a coward; not even helping these three would be enough to exonerate me.
“We should get started before we run out of time. Do you know where we’ll be coming out in Nymeria?” Tank asked as he straightened his tunic and pulled uncomfortably at the cloak I’d made him wear.
But, damn, the bear looked good clad in leather.
“No, we should delay until tomorrow,” Dean demanded, striding up to us. “It’s insanity to go in there without weapons. We should regroup, arm and go in tomorrow at first light better equipped.”
“Guns will do you no good in Nymeria,” I explained. “Besides, you’ve got a shiny new sword. What more do you need?”
Dean looked down at the weapon like it personally offended him, his top lip raised, and a flash of his inner wolf came to the surface.
Going into Nymeria with a potential rogue alpha was a terrible idea, and I had no idea why I was doing it. The thing was, something about splitting these guys up didn’t sit right with me. Yet, leaving them behind felt even worse. It might have been decades since I was last in Nymeria, but it was fresh enough in my mind to know I needed to follow my instincts. If Nymeria wanted them there, leaving them behind would have consequences. And I wasn’t quite ready to admit that it was me, the person, that really wanted to keep them by my side.
My gaze found Tank, and a pang of guilt struck deep in my stomach. Even though we’d known each other for so long, this thing growing between us was new. It felt like a betrayal to him that the other three were on my mind. I could lie to myself and say it was only because I wanted to help them and get them through this alive. But, the need behind it all screamed the truth: why I wanted to help them and why I felt the need to keep them safe. And it wasn’t because I was a good fucking person. I’d proved that to myself long ago, and it was too late to try and con myself into thinking otherwise.
Maybe this whole thing with Tank was a mistake. I should push him away, save him from the complications and dangers of being too close to me, especially in a place like Nymeria. But I didn’t know if I could. And maybe that was proof enough that, as a person, I really fucking sucked.
“And why exactly can’t we take guns into Nymeria again?” Maddox asked, moving over to where the rest of us were gathered. “I’m not sure I get it.”
“The best I can explain is that Nymeria won’t allow it. Anytime someone has brought a human weapon into Nymeria, it’s exploded either in the crossing or as soon as they set foot in Nymeria,” I explained again.
I didn’t know what it was with these guys, but they seemed pretty attached to the idea of guns. Perhaps it was because they were walking into the unknown, and I’d told them the chances of making it out alive were slim to none. Yeah, actually, now that I was thinking about it, I got it.
“What happens if it explodes in the crossing?” Ryder asked, fidgeting with the pommel of his sword.
I was seriously starting to question myself for giving them all one. It was an accident waiting to happen, but them walking around Nymeria without one would have raised questions. Maybe we should run through a quick safety lesson before we set off.
“I’m pretty sure the same thing happens if you’re standing next to something over here, and it explodes,” Dean answered dryly, looking at Ryder like he was crazy.
He did have a point, though.
“But what if it was just a small gun, and we, like, I dunno, tossed it through before us.”
I rolled my eyes. What was it with humans and guns?
“The gunpowder would still ignite as soon as it got to Nymeria.”
“But why?” Ryder whined.
“Is this because you’re unnaturally attached to a gun, or do you really need to know?” I asked, already thinking I knew the answer.
“He needs to know,” Maddox filled in. “Ryder’s the type of person who can’t not press the button that says do not press in big letters over it. He needs to know the why behind everything.”
“Huh, I’d never have guessed that about you.”