Page 34 of Renegade Queen
The animal inside me purred at the sight, and my eyes widened in surprise. So much so that Ryder’s head snapped around to see what had shocked me. The shit-eating grin he gave me when he turned back would have been annoying in normal circumstances. Still, it at least was familiar enough that it cut through this situation in a way I needed.
These things we shared our bodies with were changing us in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I thought we’d still be the same people, just with the added quirk of being able to turn into an animal when we wanted. In fact, I hadn’t thought this whole thing through at all. I hadn’t hesitated to take it when we’d been offered this as our ticket here. But maybe we should have thought it through more, asked questions. Fuck, done something. Because if the wolf that had taken up residence inside Dean could make him casually touch another person like he was—I didn’t know—a human being, then something was definitely wrong with my friend.
It was only then that I realised Alyssa had turned and was looking at me with a look of confusion on her face. She slowly shook her head like she was trying to shake away the thoughts, her eyes never leaving mine.
“I’m so sorry, Maddox. No one deserves an end like this.”
I winced at that. Because it was all the confirmation I needed.
“He’s really gone.”
It wasn’t a question. I didn’t need them to confirm it. I just needed to say it out loud, like verbalising it was the only way I would ever accept it.
“So, what now?” Tank asked, turning to look at the rest of us.
“Now, you leave. You leave Nymeria behind and forget it ever existed. Live your lives far away from this place. There’s nothing left here but death and sorrow,” Fizzle told us grimly as he shook out his feathers before leaping from Tank’s shoulder and gliding over to Alyssa to take up the same position.
“I’m taking the dog tags,” Dean all but growled at us.
He took a moment to take a deep breath and then turned and strode into the place I couldn’t even bring myself to look at.
“It’s too quiet here,” I mumbled, needing any excuse to not think about what Dean was doing.
Alyssa looked around at the trees, the vines hanging between the branches and a soft smile came across her lips. I wondered how she felt coming home after all this time. We’d seen the effect it had on her when we crossed over. I’d felt the animal inside me perk up as soon as I took my first breath in this world. It was like electricity coated my tongue and slowly flowed down my throat to seep through my body.
Now that I was changed, I felt like this place was a part of me. How must Alyssa have felt to be separated from that for so long?
When I felt the slight scratch of claws on my shoulder, I realised Fizzle had decided he’d try me out as his next perch. I didn’t expect to turn my head to find his face close enough to mine that I could feel his breath against my skin.
“What are you?” he asked, leaning closer and sniffing me.
“Fizzle, behave,” Alyssa chastised him. He leapt from my shoulder with a huff before settling on a low tree branch beside us and glaring as he wrapped his tail around his feet like a cat.
Ryder took a slight step closer, and I just knew he was getting ready to risk petting the grumpy little fucker.
“He’s not here,” Dean suddenly shouted from the clearing.
I sprinted forward, dodging around the others and clung to that thread of hope he’d sent my way.
The smell of iron hit me hard as I broke through the last of the trees, but my eyes skipped across the bodies on the ground, not seeing the people they had once been. The splashes of red had long since lost the glaring red hue they would have once had, yet still, they screamed how much they didn’t belong in this place.
Dean stood in the middle, four bloody dog tags hung from his fist as his eyes frantically moved from body part to body part, taking a gruesome tally of how many pieces it would take to create a man.
My breaths heaved out of me in pants as I waited for him to speak again. The animal inside me felt like it was vibrating, and for the first time since I’d noted his presence, I felt like my skin was too tight. Like whatever it was that was contained inside me needed to break free, and I wasn’t going to fight it. In fact, I pushed at that sensation with all of my might because I knew deep down inside me that he would help us.
But it was useless.
I didn’t know how to go through the change. Fuck, I didn’t even know if it was even possible yet and eventually, that feeling of tightness abated as he slinked back into the rear of my mind realising no amount of force would pull him to the surface.
“Damon’s body is missing,” Dean finally concluded, and my knees failed me.
Dropping down to kneel on the bloody ground, the only feeling that flowed through me was relief.
We still had a chance.
He had to be alive.
Chapter 16