Page 69 of Renegade Queen

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and prayed for my mind not to fill in the blanks of everything that could go wrong as I squeezed myself between the rocks. There was a fraction of a moment when I felt panic building in my chest. My mind laughed that we were definitely going to get stuck, and fuck did I believe it. Then I felt Dean’s hand wrap around my wrist as he tugged me to the other side.

Tight spaces had never been my friend, and of course, Dean would be the one to remember that. He was the one that locked me in that closet as a joke and then ended up having to spend hours cleaning up after I threw up all over myself and the contents. Damon had been so pissed until I’d calmed down. And then they’d laughed at me for a solid hour until I could laugh at myself as well.

That fear of tight, dark spaces had stayed with me, though. And I knew Dean blamed himself for it, even though it was just a stupid prank.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dim light in the tunnel, but I was surprised to see how roomy it was on the other side.

“Who do you think made this?” I asked, looking around.

The crack had been widened into something better described as an antechamber. Wooden crates were stacked against one side, but from the thick dust on everything, it was apparent they’d been long forgotten.

Alyssa dropped her pack on the ground and sank against one of the walls with a sigh.

“I don’t know. When Rhidian and I found it, it was pretty much the same as it is now. I don’t think anyone’s been through here for centuries,” she tipped her head back against the rock wall, her eyes closed as she rested. “Two hours, and then we move for the palace,” she added sleepily.

I took a moment to examine her as she dozed. She’d been through a lot to get to this point, and she’d been constantly using her magic whenever we needed it. Did it drain her? She’d never complained once, never asked for a break. Now we were so close to Damon I wanted to push on, but I could see how exhausted she was, and I wasn’t that far behind her.

Dean slowly sat beside her, wrapping an arm over her shoulders as he pulled her to his chest. She didn’t even resist as she rested her head against him. I was pretty sure she was already asleep.

“She’s pushed herself too hard,” I realised aloud.

Dean looked up at me and nodded. He looked pissed at the idea, but was just as much to blame as I was. We were all so fixated on Damon and reaching this point that we’d done it at the cost of ourselves and everyone around us.

“We should head for the Spring Court after this,” Dean said quietly. “It’s familiar ground for Alyssa, and there has to be a place we can fortify while we decide on our next move.”

My eyes widened in surprise that Dean was already thinking two steps ahead. At least someone had a plan. Because apart from getting Damon out, none of the rest of us had considered what happened next. Namely, escaping this place. If that was even still the plan.

Nymeria was in trouble, and Alyssa needed to stay here. Even if it was just to prove to herself that she could make a difference.

But for the rest of us, what did we have left in the human realm to return to?

Well, apart from Damon. He was still human. He could return to his old life if that was what he wanted.

My mind was spinning with thoughts of what could be.

Would Damon want to go back to what he’d left behind? If he did, what would the rest of us do? We’d never been separated. Not really. There were times when we had to go our separate ways, but we always came back together. It was always the plan that our family stayed together.

But if Damon wanted to return to his life in the army, it would be the first time in my life that I couldn’t follow him. And the first time, I didn’t know if I even wanted to.

The lion inside me prowled at the edge of my mind on full alert. He knew danger lay close by and wanted to ensure Alyssa was safe. Seeing the maiden attack her, knowing she was hurting Alyssa, pushed him to the edge of madness.

The relief of being able to shift at that moment, knowing that I wasn’t useless and there was something I could do to protect her, had been nearly overwhelming.

I wasn’t sure if I could shift by myself now that it wasn’t a life-or-death situation, and I was okay with that. I knew it would get easier the longer I had to bond with the beast inside me. But the human realm wasn’t made for someone like me, not anymore, at least. I’d outgrown my world, and now the only option seemed to be the broken one we’d found ourselves in.

And yet I was okay with that too.

I could feel the land here. Everything was so much more intense, and I liked it. It really did feel like home, like the place I was always meant to be. I just had to find a way to convince Damon of the same thing.

There wasn’t space in my mind to consider that this wouldn’t work. That we could have lost him already. I knew he was in there. I could feel him. It didn’t matter how. All that mattered was how close we were to getting him out.

“Are you going to stay?” I asked Dean quietly, not wanting to disturb Alyssa while she rested.

He nodded, looking down at the sleeping woman on his chest. “Where she goes, I go,” he said firmly.

I knew he had feelings for her; Ryder and I had watched him all but confess his love to her back at the inn. Strangely, I didn’t hate him for it. The lion inside me was obsessed with Alyssa, and I was right there with him. But the men she had in her orbit weren’t our competition.

Was this the feeling of pack that Tank had said we needed? Whatever it was, I hoped like hell that Damon would fit into it. He was my brother, and I didn’t want to watch him leave.