Page 20 of Renegade Kings
“How are you really doing?” he asked.
“You’re the one with an extra hole in your body. I should be asking you that question.”
“And yet I beat you to it. Now answer the question, Alyssa.” The growl that seemed so ever present in his voice had something tightening in my stomach as I considered for a moment to see what he’d do if I avoided the question again.
From the smirk on his lips, he knew exactly what I was thinking.
But beating around the bush wouldn’t get Dean’s injuries treated, and I knew for a fact that he wouldn’t just give up until he was satisfied. The alpha wouldn’t back down easily, ever.
I sighed as my eyelids fluttered closed. How was I doing with all this? It felt like such an impossible question to answer. The screaming in my mind was probably enough of an answer to that but, when I really thought about it, it was so much more. Logically, I knew I was reacting to the trauma of what had happened here before. But that wasn’t the sum of our current predicament. I’d claimed a throne I didn’t know if I actually wanted and there was so much more going on here that I wasn’t equipped to deal with.
“It’s a lot,” I confessed. I knew it wasn’t enough of an explanation, so I tried to explain what I meant. “I thought we had one problem—getting Damon back from Arik. And then it evolved into knowing that I couldn’t leave Nymeria while Arik was still alive. But the more I look at this place, the more I know about what’s happening here… how did I think I could do this?”
It was a question he couldn’t possibly have the answer to and even if he did; I doubted I was in a place to hear it right now. Everything hurts right now. Curling up in a ball and crying for hours felt like the appropriate response, but my entire body felt numb.
“I don’t know who I am in this place anymore.” It whispered out of me like a confession I wasn’t ready to admit to myself.
I felt Tank kneel behind me, his arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me back against his massive chest. I always felt so small when Tank held me in his arms, but not in an oppressive way. This was the safest place I’d ever been. Nothing could ever touch me when I was in his arms, because he’d never allow it.
“You… are a queen. You always have been. You were my queen long before we came here and you will be until the day we depart for the stars together.” His voice rumbled through my chest like a physical reassurance that he meant every single word that left his lips.
Maddox dipped down beside me, Ryder taking the other. Both of them took one of my hands in theirs as Dean’s fingers massaged against my scalp.
They were all here. Exactly where I needed them to be.
The tears slipped from my eyes, more from relief than anything else, because I could finally see that I wasn’t alone anymore. These men would remain at my side through whatever came for us next, just as I would them. This was what I came to Nymeria for. I could feel the certainty of that more surely than the ground beneath my knees.
We weren’t here to save a world.
We were here to claim a life, to claim each other… and maybe we’d save a realm while we were at it.
“I don’t know what this whole queen and king thing means, and frankly, I don’t really give a shit. You’re ours. You were from the moment I set eyes on you. Nothing will take us from your side. Not even some mad, deluded king with a hard-on for world domination,” Ryder said, a crooked smile tilting his lips.
“You were really onto something all heartfelt and sweet there at the beginning and then you had to go and ruin it.” Maddox laughed. “But he’s right, sweetheart. We might not be from this place, but we can see what needs to be done and we’re the men to do it with you. You have to know how we feel about you, and if you don’t, then that’s on us for not making it clearer. I don’t know how it works now that you and Tank are whatever the hell is going on here, but I’m saying it now, so there’s no doubt in your mind. You’re mine, and I’m with you every step of the way.”
My gaze moved to Dean to see what his feelings were on the subject. Of course, I already knew. He’d been nothing but straightforward since the moment he’d come into his wolf. It was like it barged past the part of him he used to shield himself from the world and gave him the courage to be who he was always meant to be.
I could see the exhaustion on his face and it was only then that I realised how pale he looked. He’d lost a lot of blood, and not that long ago, Tank and I had to resuscitate him after pulling him out of the river. It was a miracle he’d been functioning like he had for this long. But now that he’d finally let himself sit down, it looked like it was hitting him, and I could tell he was struggling to stay conscious.
“You need to rest,” I told him quietly, knowing it was the last thing he wanted to hear.
“Only if you come with me.” He didn’t even look bad for trying to manipulate me into bed with him.
I nodded, climbing to my feet and held out my hand for him to take. The fact that he did and that he let me pull him to his feet spoke volumes about his current condition.
“We can dress your wound in the bedroom,” Ryder added, and I only then noticed the cloths in his hand. “There wasn’t much else that we could use, but I figured if you were going to bleed to death, you would have done it already.” He shrugged like it was no big deal and even though he had a point, I still felt sick at the thought.
We could have so easily lost Dean today. In fact, it was actually pretty impossible that he was functioning the way he was.
“Can I see your wound?” I asked before I moved. Now that the thought was in my mind, curiosity was getting the better of me.
Dean scowled like he was about to say no, but then, with a reluctant sigh, he tugged on his shirt. He didn’t have the energy to pull it over his head himself, and Ryder didn’t even hesitate to help him. I would have done it myself, but as soon as his stomach was revealed, I was so shocked I could barely get my mind moving, let alone my body.
“That… that’s not possible,” Maddox gasped, his hand reaching out for Dean before it stalled in the air and dropped back to his side instead.
I’d seen this wound… when? I cast my mind back, trying to remember when the last time was. Had it been before or after we went into the water? Did we check it when we pulled him out of the river? The exhaustion of today was hitting me too, and my memory felt like wading through mud.
Whenever it had been, what we were looking at now was nothing like what we’d seen then. Yes, he still had a wound to his side. The skin was pink around the edges but more in a healthy way than anything else, and that was when I realised that this was his healing. Because the shallow wound I was looking at right now was nothing like the ragged knife wound I’d seen before. It barely looked to have penetrated more than an inch, if that, and there was no sign of any active bleeding.