Page 31 of Renegade Kings

And she needed to do it now.

Chapter 13

Alyssa

It hadn’t been easy to convince the guys that I was going to do this alone. I could see the need to argue in Dean’s eyes especially.

I hadn’t been inside the palace since the day everyone had been slaughtered. If I was going to set out amongst my personal ghosts, then I wanted the time to face them alone. To deal with the feelings I’d kept caged inside once and for all.

And then when I was done, maybe I’d be ready to let them help me put the pieces of my soul back together.

I knew I’d regretted leaving, but I’d been able to lie to myself for all these years that it had been for the best. I’d been in denial about what would happen in Nymeria while I had a safe refuge in the human realm. Now that I was back here, it was time to face the things I’d let happen and the people it had happened to.

My footsteps echoed off the stone of the palace floor and down the empty corridor as I headed to the one place in the palace that had always been a hub for the people who lived here. The one place that would still be needed for whoever had sought refuge inside these walls, even if they appeared to be keeping their distance for now.

The smell of roasting meat floated down the corridor towards me, and I knew I’d made the right decision as I turned the last corner that led to the kitchens. It was a route I’d travelled so many times before. The kitchen door led straight out into the part of the gardens that backed onto the forest. It was where we’d grown most of our vegetables and herbs. Who knew how much of that was left after all this time?

I heard the voices of whoever was preparing food before I walked into the kitchens, and for a moment, I hesitated. I didn’t know if I was welcome in this place, or what they would say when they saw me here. There was no hiding who I was. I bore the marks on my neck for all to see. But the things these people had been through because of me, they deserved a chance to vent their anger and I needed to swallow my fear and pride and finally do the right thing for once.

Clenching my fists at my sides, I pushed through the door and walked into the bustling kitchen. For a moment, life continued on as it usually did. And then they realised it wasn’t whoever they’d been expecting that had entered. One by one, their gazes moved to me, and as they did, each person froze on the spot, staring at me as silence slowly fell over the room.

I couldn’t work out the expression on their faces. I opened my mouth to say something and then snapped it closed when I realised there was nothing I could say that would make up for the things I’d let happen.

What was the point of an apology? It wouldn’t bring back the dead. It wouldn’t right the wrongs of this world.

I was just considering backing out the way I’d come when an older woman dusted the flour off her hands onto her apron and then moved swiftly towards me. I didn’t cower; I didn’t reason with her. I deserved her rage.

When her arms wrapped around me and she clung to me tightly, I didn’t know what to do. My eyes burned with the need to cry as she held onto me, and I couldn’t figure out why.

Eventually, she moved back, her hands clasping my shoulders as she leaned back to examine me.

“You’re more beautiful than they said you were,” she said sadly. “I… I don’t know what to say to you. That you would even consider joining this fight with us means more than I can ever express.”

I was confused. Did these people know of the prophecy as well? Had Fizzle and Rhidian been honest with the people they’d saved, or was this something else?

“It’s my fault…”

She tutted in annoyance before I could even finish my sentence. “There’s only one person to blame for the pain and suffering in Nymeria, and it isn’t the child who was saved from it all and still came back for us.”

I hadn’t thought of it that way. Still, it didn’t feel like enough to excuse me from what had happened here.

“Now, I know we sent food up earlier, but you must still be starving, you poor things. I’ve heard some of what happened, but looking at you, there’s no way you’ve been eating right. Now, sit down at the table and let me fix you something.”

She bustled across the kitchen, not even waiting for a response, and barked out orders to the others who’d been working here. I didn’t quite know what to do and only sat down because I couldn’t figure out what else to do.

I watched as she piled a plate high with bread, fruit, cheese and something that looked suspiciously like my favourite dessert as a child, a soft bread filled with custard and stewed fruits. My mouth was watering by the time the plate was deposited in front of me with a glass of water, and I didn’t even feel slightly guilty as I tore into the food, knowing the others were missing out.

It helped that moments later; she was sending out two of the men who’d been preparing vegetables with dishes piled high for my guys. I tried not to sulk about the fact that they had extra desserts on their plates. There was an entire stack of them on the side, after all.

After a while, I realised that the sound of the kitchen had returned, but not to what it had been. The people weren’t talking but quietly going about their tasks while darting furtive glances in my direction. I knew they had questions, and they weren’t the only ones.

Taking a sip of my water, I gently set the glass down and looked around the room. “You were all brought here by Rhidian from the other courts?”

Of course, they were. No one else had survived from the Spring Court, but for some reason, it felt like a fact that needed to be stated. Maybe I was just trying to get a feel for how they felt about Rhidian and if he truly was the saviour he seemed to be.

“We come from all over Nymeria. This was the only safe place Rhidian could find. Many were too afraid to come to the dead court.” She winced when she said that. “Some even turned away thinking the risk was too great and resigned themselves to their fate. It’s not been easy, especially recently, but here we can at least try to build a life for ourselves. No one is trying to tear our children away in their sleep.”

Her watery eyes spoke of a pain that most of Nymeria would understand. It was tragic that our once beautiful world had turned into this. Maybe it was past the point of saving. Perhaps fighting wasn’t the answer here. Perhaps we should look at a way to relocate those that were left.