Page 65 of Renegade Kings
Ryder shrugged. “Who knows with this place?”
He had a point, so we turned away from the window and carried on heading towards the training area.
Impossible things happened in Nymeria, and I found myself clinging to that thought. Damon had seemed so lost to us when he’d turned on Alyssa at the Winter Palace, injuring Dean in the process. But, with the things we’d seen here, surely there was still some hope.
“Do you think we’ll get him back?” I asked quietly.
Ryder said nothing at first. Eventually, he shrugged again, and it was so unlike him. “I think if there’s a way, we’ll find it. My worry is who we’ll be getting back, though. Even if we can break him out of whatever hold Arik has over him, he won’t be the Damon we knew before. He’s going to have to find a way to live with the things he’s done and we both know he’s not the kind of person who won’t blame himself for it. I don’t… He’s going to have a really tough road ahead of him.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I’d been so consumed with my need to save my brother that I hadn’t thought past the physical aspect of it. We hadn’t even really considered what would happen when we’d put this whole thing to bed.
“Do you want to stay in Nymeria?”
“I want to stay with Alyssa, wherever she is. If that’s here, then here’s where I’ll be,” Ryder told me, like it wasn’t a big deal. “The shifters back in our world live in the shadows. That’s going to be even harder for us, not only because of the whole magic thing, but because we know what it’s like to live free. At least here we don’t have to hide. We can be whoever we want to be. Besides, even once the fighting is over, there'll be a lot to do around here. People will need help to rebuild their lives. It sounds nice to be the ones doing the rebuilding for a change.”
Ryder had a point. He was never suited to the army, even if he excelled at it. He was too kind, wearing his emotions on his sleeve. We all knew he only joined because the rest of us did. Not that there was really any other option for kids like us. We’d all be in jail by now if we hadn’t joined up when we did. But Ryder was the guy who wanted to help. When he saw people in pain, it made little sense to him to turn away, let alone cause them even more of it. I was always grateful that he did what he did, though. That he made that sacrifice to stay with us. Because sometimes I didn’t think we’d have survived if he hadn’t.
I could see the similarities between Ryder and Alyssa already. She might have spent all this time trying to be a different person to protect her heart from breaking over her loss, but deep down, I knew she’d do anything for the people here. It wouldn’t have hurt her so much to leave otherwise. But now that she was back here, I could see the leader she was always destined to be shining through.
“I think I want to stay too,” I decided. “It’s not like we’re leaving anything behind. Home was always when we were together and there’s no way Dean will ever be persuaded to leave her side. Besides, I weirdly like it here.”
It was weird. We’d basically spent most of the time running for our lives, but there was something strangely comforting about that. Most of our lives were spent in conflict zones and this felt familiar, but it was more than that. I could see the potential here and Ryder was right when he said that here we’d be able to be free. It was a luxury we’d never had the chance to experience before, and I had a feeling it would be the most addictive drug we’d ever find. It was hard to go back to living in a box when you’d finally been able to stretch all four legs and run like never before.
“She shines here,” Ryder said, almost to himself. “I can already see that she’s more settled, more connected.”
I nodded. The door to the training rings was in sight and the sound of fighting reached our ears. I didn’t want them to hear what I was about to say though, and when I came to a stop, it took Ryder several steps before he realised I wasn’t walking alongside him.
“Whatever happens here, she’s always the priority. She needs support to do what needs to be done, but I really think if we stand by her, she can make the changes that need to be made. But if we get to a point where it’s her life or theirs, we get her back to the portal, whether she wants it or not. I can’t lose her, Ryder. I know I won’t survive it. And I want to be all noble and shit and say I’ll die alongside her, but I can’t even get my head to that step. The thought of a world without her in it…”
The lion pushed to the surface and with it came a wave of comfort. “Nothing hurts our mate,” he reassured me.
Ryder returned to my side. He stared straight into my eyes as he grasped my shoulder. “We get strong enough to fight beside her, and we get strong enough to save her. Whatever that means. We have magic now. Between us, we could maybe open the portal. But you’re right, whatever it takes, she walks away from this alive, even if we let this entire realm die in our wake.”
It was a brutal thought, but we had little connection to these people apart from through Alyssa. Maybe it was the mate bond clouding my judgement. I didn’t have it in me to care. She would always be my priority and with that came a realisation I hadn’t considered before.
“She’s connected to this place now through the marks. We all are. We need information on what that means, and we need to make sure no one knows why we’re asking. I don’t see Rhidian taking it too well to know that we’re working on an escape plan.” My eyes darted back to the door to make sure we hadn’t been overheard. It still sat closed and there was no one around listening to our conversation.
It felt dangerous to even be thinking this. Treasonous almost. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise, though. We were mated, bonded. They had to realise she would always be our ultimate priority.
After Ryder nodded in agreement, we reluctantly made our way outside. It felt more dangerous being out amongst these people now. Like they’d take one look at us and realise we were never wholly on their side. I felt for them, I really did. No one should ever have to face the reality of losing their family, their loved ones, the homes they’d built. Maybe it made me a terrible person. I didn’t have it in me to care. Deep down, if they asked themselves the same questions, I knew they’d do the same. Or at least I hoped they would. It was the only way I’d ever be able to sleep at night.
Ryder stepped through to the training courtyard first, and it didn’t take us long to figure out where Fizzle was. The fighters in the rings had given us pretty solid directions without even questioning why we were looking for him. Unfortunately for us, Fizzle was in the same place as Rhidian, both staring down at an enormous map with grim looks on their faces.
Alyssa had mentioned something about this place, but given the vibe in this room, something seemed to have changed since last night.
“Maddox. Ryder,” Rhidian greeted.
“This looks serious.” Ryder grinned and strode up to the table, cocking his head to the side as he did.
I knew exactly what he was doing. He always seemed like the laid back, easy-going one. Right now, he was memorising that map and the troop positions on it, ready to sketch it out when he had the first opportunity. Next, he’d turn to the people in the room and start analysing them as well.
Everyone thought Ryder was the dumb one because he approached everything with a smile on his face. It baffled me how people couldn’t see that the smile was his most useful tool and that he had absolutely no reservations about whom to use it against. Sometimes I didn’t even think he realised he was doing it. He’d grown that used to it all.
“We’re assessing our position and the timeframe to make a move on the Autumn Court,” Rhidian explained as he picked up some papers and looked through them.
“I thought you agreed with Alyssa that this wouldn’t work?”
It was interesting that he wasn’t trying to hide anything from us, but concerning that he was so fine with going against any agreements he’d already made. Rhidian had been fighting this fight alone for so long, it wouldn’t be easy to persuade him to take a step back and listen to reason if he was locked in on a course of action.