Page 14 of Prince of Pain
Those voices in my head were getting darker and harder to ignore.
Why couldn’t I get off without hurting someone?
The girl seemed to understand our arrangement, fixing her pants and patting my chest on her way past. “Thanks for the ride. Find me later if you want more.”
I didn’t reply, letting her leave, and Tempest shook her head with amusement.
“Can’t even finish now? Rehab fucked your dick up?”
“What are you talking about?” I grunted, hating that she knew me so well.
“You don’t think I know how you look and sound when you come? Did your dick die?”
“Fuck off, Tempest. Worry about your own pussy.”
“You need a real woman. Someone who knows how you like it and doesn’t have limits.” I turned to her, noticing that her tits were still out and Mason was looking bored while scrolling on his phone.
“A real woman? You mean someone like you? Newsflash, Temp. Having zero boundaries doesn’t make you a prize in bed, it makes you a whore with no self-respect. Do you enjoy being used?” It was mean, but she shrugged, brushing my words off like they meant nothing.
“Yes. I get a kick out of it. That’s kind of my thing.”
“You’re better than that,” I muttered under my breath, but she chuckled.
“Everyone thinks I let people use me as a cum bucket because I’m desperate, but I do it because I fucking like it. I like being pushed past my limits, being degraded and fucked within an inch of my life. How’s that any different to your need to hurt the people you fuck?”
“I don’t fucking hurt girls,” I spat, guilt burning inside of me at the lie. “When did I ever hurt you? You don’t know shit.”
I’d tried hard to suppress the monster inside of me, not wanting to let it out. My parents had done enough to keep my name away from the tabloids and my ass out of prison. The last thing I needed was for them to be forced to deal with abuse charges from angry women who’d turned our bedroom activities into rape charges.
Tempest didn’t answer for a moment, her sad eyes on mine. She started towards me, stopping inches away.
“It’s okay to like to inflict pain, Ry. We all have our demons clawing at us, and sometimes you need to let them out to silence them for a while. If you don’t let yours out to play, they’ll tear you apart. Some girls like the fear mixed with pain, you just have to find them. Pain soothes their demons in the same way inflicting it soothes yours.”
“How do you know that?” I didn’t mean to sound relieved, but I couldn’t help it.
Would someone be able to handle that side of me? Would they like me despite that?
“Because pain is the only thing that keeps me alive,” she said softly, my eyes dropping to the marks on her arms and thighs. “Without pain, what else do I have?”
I hated it when she got like this because I couldn’t fix it, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to.
Whenever she’d gotten like this before, we just got high and fucked all night to forget our problems, but that wasn’t an option anymore.
“You don’t see how good you have it because your mind’s never clear,” I said gently, but Mason wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and pulled her back from me, ending our conversation.
“This is a party, stop moping and let’s fuck while I’m still buzzed. You sure you don’t want to join us, Donovan?”
I hated how Tempest looked at me with pleading eyes. I refused to be her security blanket, not when it meant falling back into drugs.
“I’m sure. You two have fun.”
I left before Tempest could convince me to stay like I knew she would, finding more beer and spending a few hours dancing with some of the girls before deciding I wanted to go home. Not having my car meant I had to call my parents, and it was almost two in the morning.
I checked the tracking app to see if anyone was still out and luckily Hunter appeared to just be leaving Devil’s Dungeon.
Having so many parents came in handy sometimes.
Hunter and Marco were usually running the Devil’s nightclub, Devil’s Dungeon, or they were out on Devil’s business. Slash, Skeeter, Caden, Tyler, and Diesel were always out late at the Psychos’ shed hosting numerous cage fights or handling other crew business. Jensen and Lukas were either at home looking after foster kids, or bartending for the Psychos or Devils.