Page 24 of One More Time

In the aftermath of his death and the collective grief in our family, I had carried my own pain silently. Jake had hit me more than once. I was the annoying little sister. Even though, as an adult, I could intellectually understand Jake was only doing what he had learned, it didn’t mean it was okay.

I wanted to escape my feelings frantically. I barely held it together while everyone talked and laughed around me.

I felt Jack before I saw him. His presence was electric. A prickle of awareness raced down my spine, reverberating with little pings of electricity gathering force.

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him talking with Blake and Fiona a few feet away. His gaze locked onto mine. It felt as if a flame flickered through the air between us. He said something else to Blake before he turned to approach me.

Seconds later, Jack stopped in front of me. “Hello.”

One word, two syllables. The rumbly sound of his voice sent pinwheels of fire spinning through me. I actually had to clear my throat to speak. “Hi.”

Before Jack opened his mouth to say something else, Rhys interjected, “Hey, Jack. Glad you made it.”

The usual round of greetings with my siblings began. Because my thoughts were muddled whenever I was near Jack, I forgot that he knew Wyatt and Griffin. I offered pointlessly, “They’re hotshot firefighters up in Fairbanks.”

Griffin waggled his brows as he grinned over at me. “We met on the ferry.”

“Oh, that’s right. I can blame my forgetfulness on my black eye.”

Kenan appeared at that moment with Quinn, catching my last comment. “And you wore it well.” He nudged me with his shoulder as Quinn laughed softly.

“How is Fireweed Harbor treating you?” Wyatt asked Jack.

“Good, so far. Thanks to McKenna here, I’m staying in one of your short-term rentals.”

Just then, one of the servers appeared with another tray of drinks. Jack asked for recommendations, and everyone had an opinion. My mother appeared, beyond happy that all of us were here. She was always like that. The conversation continued, so Jack and I didn’t really get to speak beyond that first hello. It tended to be like that with my family. We were a big, messy group.

Unfortunately for me, Jack lingered with my family. I was annoyed with myself because I couldn’t get my freaking hormones to stand down, and I was wildly unsettled by my conversation with Wyatt. With my mother there, though, things got even worse. She’d just returned from a trip visiting our nephew Matthew.

“I just can’t believe how much he looks like Jake,” she gushed to Rhys.

I wanted to point out that Rhys looked a whole lot like Jake, but I bit my tongue. We had strong genes. With the exception of Kenan and Wyatt, we shared dark blond hair and gray-blue eyes, while Wyatt and Kenan had dark hair and blue eyes. Matthew could easily be mistaken for Rhys’s son at a glance.

I hated how much my mom revered Jake. I reminded myself hundreds of times that nobody was all good or bad. Good people sometimes did bad things, and bad people sometimes did good things. Life was made of shades of gray, and people were complicated.

I loved Jake too, but I’d been his target, and nobody but my therapist in college and me had known. Until I’d learned Wyatt also knew. I felt his eyes on me a few times during the night. I wanted to ask him just how much he knew. I wanted to ask him if he felt like me, sad but relieved that Jake had died. I was tangled up with guilt because I felt like I had done something to deserve being Jake’s target. Intellectually, I knew the truth. Jake had been a victim as well. I reminded myself that not all hurt people hurt people. For that reason alone, I hated that catchphrase.

I was feeling frantic to escape the feelings stirred up inside. The hole Jake had left in our family was big. His loss was a tangled mess for all of us.

I took an unsteady breath and let it out. We were all careful about alcohol because Jake had drunk himself to death. Whenever I wanted to lose myself, to escape my feelings, I slammed the door on that false escape.

“How is the kitten?” Jack’s voice came from above my shoulder.

I looked up. “Oh, she’s good. I dropped her off at my place before I came here and scheduled a vet appointment.”

He smiled. “Good to hear.”

I managed a nod and nervously slid my fingers along the hem of my shirt. I must’ve looked as discombobulated as I felt because he prompted, “Are you okay?”

“Uh, sure. Just distracted.” That wasn’t a complete lie.

He studied me for a beat, and my belly shimmied and danced.

My mind flashed to the feel of his lips on mine. My body recalled the sweet escape he offered. My pulse raced along, faster and faster.

I thought maybe I could give in for once. Jack set off a chain reaction inside—raw chemistry, need, lust, and pure escape.

It could be uncomplicated. We didn’t even have any history. He knew my family, but the connection was fresh.