Page 80 of Mistress of Lies
Shan bit her lip, weighing her options. How much to sympathize, how much to demur. She had not expected to see this side of Isaac—hadn’t realized that this side of him still existed—and that the thing to bring it out would be Samuel.
She had spent her whole life planning her schemes, laying out her plans, and there was a part of her that wished she could reach out to him here. But she played a very dangerous game, and in the past few weeks she had started to attract the attention of so many dangerous people. The Eternal King. Lord Dunn. Lady Belrose. And despite the yearning to open up to him—as she had so many years ago—Isaac was still the Royal Blood Worker. This Eternal King’s right-hand man.
One of the most dangerous pieces she had in play.
Yet here he was, looking at her as if she could save him—as if she could save them all—and she couldn’t simply turn him away.
“What you are saying,” she said, carefully, “sounds almost treasonous. Even if we discovered a way to cure Samuel that doesn’t mean that the King would allow it to happen.”
He didn’t look scared at her words; if anything, he looked even more determined. “Perhaps this shouldn’t be the King’s decision. After all, it’s not his life at stake.”
“No, it’s not,” she agreed. “I am only surprised that you seem… willing to defy the King. And for Samuel, no less.”
“Do you think he’s not worthy of protection?” Isaac asked hotly, turning on her with a sudden rage. “Or do you, like the King, find that his gift is too valuable to be wasted—morality be damned?”
Startled by his vehemence, she slid to her knees in front of him, grabbing his hands in hers. Her movement surprised him enough for him to pause in his rage, looking down at her as she seemed to kneel in supplication at his feet. “No, Isaac. You misunderstand. I cannot lie and say that I have not considered the usefulness of his gift, but I would never force him to use it.”
She meant it honestly—such a tool would never be useful. He’d only grow to resent her and her schemes and eventually turn against her. She wouldn’t waste an Aberforth—a king—for such a short-term asset.
Her feelings for Samuel did not play into this at all. She was ever so practical.
Isaac stared down at her, the anger replaced by a pain so sharp Shan almost couldn’t bear to look at it. “So, it’s me you thought a coward.”
“After everything you did,” she said, softly but not cruelly, “after everything you didn’t do, can you blame me?”
“No, I suppose not.” He was still holding her hands, brushing his thumbs against her skin. “But I am not the King’s man through and through. I am still my own person. And I will prove it to you.”
“And Samuel?”
“Him, too,” Isaac said.
“No, I meant—” Shan trailed off, for once words failing her. She didn’t know what she meant, how to put it all into a coherent thought.
“Ah.” He moved his hand, stroking his thumb down her cheek. She leaned into the touch, and he cupped her face against the palm of his hand—it was large and warm, and even with the years between them it was so easy to give in. “This was also something I wanted to talk about. Last night, I kissed him.”
Shan froze completely, her heart not even beating. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I’ve kissed you, too,” he said. “And I’ve a feeling that I wasn’t the only Blood Worker to steal a kiss from Samuel.”
She pushed herself away from him, too flustered to speak, and he let her go. Returning the favor from earlier when she had given him time to gather his thoughts. Eventually, she found that forced calm she had spent years perfecting, and she turned back to him. Cold, impassive, unhurt. “What is this? Are we to fight over him, like he is some prize to be won?”
“Not at all,” Isaac said. “I was serious when I meant that I want to court you. But I also want to court him as well. And I think you want that, too.” She sucked in a harsh breath, and he smiled. “Am I wrong?”
He wasn’t. She was a lonely creature, and perhaps her heart had been so starved of love that, now that she had the option, she didn’t want to give up either. And Isaac—she had suspected there being something between him and Samuel, blood and steel, she had eyes, but she had no idea that it was this strong.
And if Samuel was open as well…
Maybe she could have it all.
He was offering her everything she wanted on a silver platter, and yet. “This isn’t our decision alone to make.”
“I know. And Samuel doesn’t feel comfortable entering a relationship as long as his power hangs over him. But it is something to think about, isn’t it?”
She remembered the way his command had rung in her ears—a single, simple word. Mine. It had cut through her with a shocking, brutal pain, stripping her of all sense of self and identity for a single moment.
It was terrifying. It was thrilling.
But his fear was understandable, and she was relieved that Isaac understood it.