Page 77 of Serpentine

“Sully needs to be the one following her. I’m not focused around her.”

Miles shifts on his feet, and I can tell he’s uncomfortable.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Well, it’s just that I know we both have feelings for her, but I don’t want this shit coming between us. It’s not worth it.”

I growl as I stand to face him. “She’s more than worth it. I don’t have any issue with how she feels about you, Miles. You know there was a time when I couldn’t help my feelings for you…” I trail off, knowing I said too much.

When we entered our teenage years, hormones raging at full throttle, I realized I was different. I couldn’t stop looking at his lips and wondering what they’d feel like. He’d become my home more than this place. Once our mom was gone, he was still there when my life was upturned. He took her spot, held me when needed, and told me things would be alright. He always had my back.

There was a time I tried to make more out of us than there was. I made things strange between us for weeks until it was forgotten.

“I thought you said we wouldn’t discuss that again?” he says, and I register the raspy way he’d said it and look up at him.

“I know, but we’re grown men now. What’s it going to harm? There was a time when even the idea you were my brother couldn’t keep me from thinking about you, Miles. You’re a good man. She’d be lucky to have you in her life because I’m lucky to have you in mine. In any capacity. I’ve always had different ways of thinking and looking at the world. I see how you two feel about one another. Who am I to take that away? Relationships don’t always need to be so one-dimensional, do they? Conventional isn’t how everyone lives. Why should we?”

He looks at me as if he’s seeing me in a new light, but he isn’t. The same red bulbs hum from above, and he gapes as if trying to decide what to reply.

“We leave it up to her, then,” he says.

I nod. “We leave it up to her. Listen, I’m sorry I brought it up…”

He cuts me off by raising his hand in the air. “It’s not a big deal. Don’t worry about it. Hey, Aella said you want to get a diagnosis. Have you felt that way for a while?”

I bite my lip and shake my head before I drop back into the safety of my chair. “No. I just hit a point where I needed to know recently, and when she made it seem so effortless to get answers as if it was no big deal, I realized I was putting too much importance on it. I don’t need to fear it because it’s a heavy label. I can get my answers and begin a journey to understand myself better. For me. Not for the world.”

He nods and then claps me on the shoulder, but the touch feels like it’s something more than it is. I hope I’m not reading into things again.

“We’ll do whatever you need during that process, Brax.”

“Thank you.”

Our eyes stay locked through the red lights for a moment before he takes a breath and pulls his hand back, breaking the moment to shreds.

“You find anything on Vito Murphy and his gang of ass hats?” he asks.

I turn back in my chair and look at the screens for clarity.

“I’m working on it. What exactly are you looking for?”

“Anything to get them the fuck off our backs about his sister,” he replies.

“Blackmail. I like it.”

He laughs softly. “Sometimes it’s the most effective. And hey,” he turns back from where he was headed out of the basement, “if she calls, I’ll let you speak to her.”

I swivel towards him again, a stupid grin plastered on my face. “Alright.”

He looks between my bed and the spanking bench, and I know exactly what he’s wondering, but he is keeping it inside his head.

“We didn’t fuck here.”

He meets my eyes, questions lingering on his face.

I grin devilishly. “The hood of her car.”

He laughs. “Under the stars, huh? Always the romantic,” he jokes as he turns and heads up the stairs.